What Christmas behind bars is like for Victoria’s jailbirds

They might not be home for the holidays, but Victoria’s prisoners will still get a chance to have a taste of the festive season from behind bars.

Just because you’ve ended up on society’s naughty list, doesn’t mean you’ll miss out on Christmas altogether.

Colourful characters who have seen inside prison walls on both sides of the law, have lifted the lid on how inmates spend December 25, and it seems as though location is key.

Extra food money and portion sizes appear to be dished out depending on where you’re doing your time.

And most prisoners seem to have Melbourne Assessment Prison, just a stone’s throw from the watchful gaze of Victoria Police’s city headquarters, on top of their Christmas wish list.

It is understood prisoners are usually granted an additional $15 per week for two weeks over Christmas to put towards a slightly more festive menu, a gift that totals about an extra $200,000 for the state’s 6,440 inmates.

Melbourne Assessment Prison is considered to be one of the better places for inmates to spend Christmas. Picture: Ian Currie

“Out of all the days in prison, you want to be in MAP (Melbourne Assessment Prison) on Christmas Day,” said one insider lucky enough to have walked free before the holiday season kicked off.

The Herald Sun understands the CBD detention centre is prime real estate because the festive day starts off with a hot breakfast of bacon and eggs delivered to inmates in their cells.

Among those housed there over the holidays is accused Easey St double murderer Perry Kouroumblis, who is spending his first Christmas behind bars following his highly publicised extradition from Rome.

Well-fed inmates also include convicted high country killer Greg Lynn, whose stint in the facility got off to a violent start when he was attacked shortly after he was found guilty of murdering camper Carol Clay, but not guilty of Russell Hill’s murder.

“Ravenhall is the worst, cheap f*ckers,” a source said.

Many of the traditional Christmas favourites are offered up to jailbirds on December 25.

That person said the privately run prison’s festive menu left a lot to be desired, with relatively smaller portions of a single roast selection of beef and one dessert.

They had similar thoughts about the portions dished out at the soon-to-closePort Phillip Prison.

Barwon Prison, Langi Kal Kal, Hopkins Correctional Centre in Ararat and the Melbourne Remand Centre are also among the correctional facilities believed to put on more decadent lunches for their inmates, with sources ranking government-run prisons more highly than their private counterparts.

“Everyone in the prisons talks about how good they are,” one said.

It’s understood those facilities offer a spread of roast beef, chicken, turkey, potato and gravy is on offer for inmates to choose from.

Ravenhall Prison. Picture: Jake Nowakowski

Those with a sweet tooth doing time can follow their main courses with a dessert selection that usually consists of Christmas pudding, custard tarts or sponge cake.

Female inmates at the maximum security Dame Phyllis Frost Centre in Ravenhall are offered vegetarian and vegan options in their “pod meals” – having the food delivered to their cells as the facility is understood not to seat inmates in a central dining hall.

Most prisons offer a “cold” meal for dinner, often a salad.

Lockdown tends to be brought forward over the holiday period, with inmates often back in their cells by about 5pm, but those on the state’s naughty list can rest assured they won’t end December 25 on an empty stomach.

Originally published as What Christmas behind bars is like for Victoria’s jailbirds