The galling act of front row-concert goer: Phil Brown

I was in the Concert Hall at QPAC watching a brilliant young violinist when some bloke in the front row got up and left mid performance. Imagine the pressure on the poor violinist to watch him walk out, writes Phil Brown.

Who would be on the stage, really? I say that as someone who has been, in a very

small way. (My father always said he was on the stage. Sweeping it.) Me, I was first on stage as a knight in Camelot the Musical at high school. I sang one line and wasn’t very good.

I have been on stage since, intermittently, as an interviewer and reading my poetry.

I was thinking about this the other night when I was in the Concert Hall at QPAC at a concert featuring brilliant young violinist Grace Clifford who was in full swing when some bloke in the front row got up and left the auditorium.

Talented violinist Grace Clifford. Picture: Josh Woning

Young Grace never missed a beat but she must have noticed. Did he have to pee? I will quote my father again … “Tie a knot in it!” he used to say.

Standing up there performing, you’re just asking for trouble really. I mean anything could happen.

People cough, drop their wine glasses … I have even seen people eating their dinner. Imagine being a performer and seeing someone tucking into takeaway.

I guess actors and musicians can probably only see the first few rows so what goes on down the back wouldn’t worry them so much but the pressure is on those folks upfront and when they misbehave it must be galling.

Like that guy the other night. And before you say he might have been ill or something, no, he was fine.

Columnist Phil Brown. Picture: Ric Frearson

He came back in when he had relieved himself and I saw him on the way out and he looked happy as Larry.

I have done poetry readings at which I have made the mistake of looking at the audience. One time I looked out and saw faces that resembled Mount Rushmore.

Not a flicker of recognition or interest. I was dying up there but I had to keep going.

I was interviewing an author at a book event once and I looked up to see a woman positively scowling at me. That freaked me out. Maybe she just had indigestion? Or she hates me. One or the other.

What about when an actor or musician glances down into that front row and sees someone asleep. Terrible!

As for me, well, at least I do my sleeping down the back.

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Originally published as The galling act of front row-concert goer: Phil Brown