‘You shouldn’t have gone through that’. Adelaide mum reunited with bully victim after 27 years

AN Adelaide woman who admits she systematically bullied a classmate at school almost 30 years ago has had an emotional reunion with her victim on radio. LISTEN TO THE AUDIO

AN Adelaide woman who admits she systematically bullied a classmate at school almost 30 years ago has had an emotional reunion with her victim on radio.

Commercial radio station Mix102.3 brokered the reunion after the woman, Kelly, left a message on the station’s website, detailing her quest to find and apologise to her victim, Amanda.

Kelly told hosts Jodie Oddy and Mark Soderstrom she’d spent the past 15 years trying to track Amanda down, without success.

Kelly explained she began looking for Amanda after her own daughter became a victim of bullying.

“Us going through that process has really highlighted the fact of what I did to a person that I was going through school (with) to the point that I made this person — her life — absolutely hell,” she said.

“And that included locking her in the toilet so that she would miss her bus to go home.

“If we were having sporting games in classes and she was on the opposing side you know I’d go out and trip her over, push her, try and injure her you know and just doing horrible things for two years to this particular individual.”

Asked what motivated her bullying behaviour, Kelly cited her parents’ messy divorce and the fact her victim’s life seemed so perfect while her own life was miserable.

“I think just jealousy is the biggest thing,” she said.
“I’m not saying it’s an excuse but I think for my sake it was that she was happy, she looked perfect, she didn’t seem sad in any which way and to be honest I think it was just a way of lashing out and that was the person I thought ‘why can’t my life be like that?’”

Oddy and Soderstrom explained the reason Kelly had been unable to track Amanda down was because she’d been living in England since she was a teenager.

But the station had managed to track her down.

Joining the conversation on the phone from the UK, an emotional Amanda told of the torment she suffered at Kelly’s hands.

“Every day, coming out from school, Kelly would find a way to lock me in the bathroom and I would miss my bus and every day I had to explain to my mum why I wasn’t home on time,” Amanda said.

“It was horrible. You know, I would be standing there and she would be stood by the door laughing. She thought it was hilarious.”

“You cut my hair! God you cut my hair,” Amanda said.

“I had to go and get a friend to cut the other side so it matched. God that was stupid. Did that make you feel good?”

Kelly responded: “I can’t tell you how I felt back then to do that to you, I just can’t. Me as an adult now, it’s just horrific. You shouldn’t have gone through that, I know you shouldn’t have gone through that.”

Soderstrom asked whether speaking after nearly three decades had helped the women find closure. Both agreed it did.

“It does help, yeah,” Amanda said.

“I’m really sorry that your daughter’s going through it. There’s no point hanging on to it. What’s done is done and it’s all in the past.

“I’m still not sure I forgive you for the hair,” she laughed.

Kelly said speaking to Amanda “definitely helps that closure”.

“I’m just so appreciative that she’s even taken the time out to speak with me.”

Mix102.3 last year made a pledge to adopt a zero approach to bullying.

Friday is National Day of Action against Bullying and Violence. Find out more here.