Sue and Lloyd Clarke, parents of murdered mother Hannah Clarke, say moves to criminalise coercive control in SA will save lives

Sue Clarke was playing with her granddaughter Laianah, 4, when she said she’d never marry because “husbands just yell all the time.” That moment was a warning sign.

The parents of Hannah Clarke, who was murdered with her children in a horrific domestic violence attack, say moves to criminalise coercive control in South Australia will save lives.

Sue and Lloyd Clarke have spoken out about their mission to raise awareness around the dangers of coercive control, which is a pattern of behaviour that can include threats, humiliation, stalking, tracking and manipulation, and is used to erode a victim’s confidence or ability to escape an abusive relationship.

“We didn’t know that it had a name. We knew it was an insidious thing that happens, that it was happening to Hannah, but we just thought it was mind games,” Mr Clarke said.

“After it all happened, all these professional people were saying ‘oh, it’s typical coercion, it’s typical coercive control’.

“So we started learning about it and thought, well, we don’t know about it, we’re just middle class, there must be thousands and thousands of other people out there who don’t know how bad it is.”

Sue and Lloyd Clarke, the parents of Hannah Clarke, in Victoria Square on Tuesday. Picture: Russell Millard

Hannah and children Aaliyah, 6, Laianah, 4, and Trey, 3, died when her estranged husband Rowan Baxter poured petrol in their car and set it alight in a Brisbane street in February 2020.

Prior to her death, her husband would not allow her to have a Facebook account, questioned where she went or who she spoke to and constantly criticised her.

In what Mr Clarke described as “spiralling”, his abuse escalated after Hannah left him to include physical assaults, abducting one of their children and, ultimately, murder.

Hannah Clarke with her children Laianah, Aaliyah and Trey. Picture: Supplied

South Australia is consulting on laws that will criminalise coercive control, after similar legislation was passed in Queensland and New South Wales.

The Clarkes, who have started the Small Steps 4 Hannah advocacy charity, are in Adelaide this week to take part in the state government’s sold-out See the Signs coercive control forum.

In an interview on Tuesday, they said efforts to stop coercive control must involve government, law enforcement, education and support programs and increased awareness within the community.

Ms Clarke said part of the challenge was helping people victims to identify coercive control, and said measures such as incorporating abusive situations into plot lines of popular television shows could assist.

She added the children of people experiencing coercive control “see a lot” and their welfare must be a priority.

“Even Laianah, she wasn’t quite four and she loved dolls and babies … I had her on a Friday and she was swinging her doll on a swing and I said to her: are you going to make me a great-grandma?

“She said ‘no, I’m never getting married because husbands just yell all the time’ … it broke my heart.”

Becoming emotional, Ms Clarke said laws to criminalise coercive control will save lives, and added family and friends trying to help their loved ones through abusive relationships should “be patient”.

“Believe them, let them know that you’re there and you love them,” she said.

“So many people go ‘well it can’t be that bad, you wouldn’t still be there’. They don’t understand, these women have nowhere to go. It’s not just that easy to walk away.”

The Clarkes with Prevention of Domestic and Family Violence Minister Katrine Hildyard. Picture: Russell Millard Photography

Prevention of Domestic and Family Violence Minister Katrine Hildyard said she was “so incredibly grateful and honoured” the Clarkes had agreed to attend the forum.

“We’ve got to start addressing, not just those physical incidents of violence, but those horrific patterns of ongoing controlling behaviour and abuse that lead to the most horrific, tragic events.

“I think hearing from Sue and Lloyd and encouraging others with that lived experience to speak up means that we get the laws right and we bring people along to understand the laws.”

Get more information on the Small Steps 4 Hannah charity here