Sharlene Lynch talks about son Scott Lynch’s unexpected suicide death one week before his 18th birthday

Scott Lynch was in the midst of planning his 18th birthday when he was found dead. Eleven years later, one burning unanswered question still haunts his mum.

Sharlene Lynch with a photo of her son Scott, who took his own life a week before his 18th birthday in 2011. Picture: Tom Huntley

Scott Lynch was planning his 18th birthday party when he took his own life on September 24, 2011.

Only a week out from the big day, he had booked a party bus and secured a hair appointment in preparation for the celebrations.

So, when Scott’s mother, Sharlene Lynch, arrived home that Saturday night, the last thing she expected to find was her son unconscious in his childhood bedroom.

More than a decade on and Ms Lynch still struggles to understand how her son’s suffering was unknown to everyone around him.

Scott Lynch (centre) took his own life one week out from his 18th birthday. He is pictured here attending an awards night at the Southern Suburbs Rugby Club. Picture: Supplied

Scott Edward Douglas Lynch grew up in the inner-southern suburb of Hawthorn and attended a local public high school, Unley High.

He was a “big kid”, standing at six foot two, no doubt an advantage for the passionate rugby union player.

He was a member of the Southern Suburbs Rugby Club and also loved to be outside – riding his mountain bike or camping with his family.

At home, he enjoyed cooking and would regularly join Ms Lynch in the kitchen.

“He loved to eat! I’ve never met a kid that loved food that much,” Ms Lynch said.

“One of his favourites was lasagne, he would help make it.”

In addition to his culinary skills, Scott was somewhat of an entrepreneur.

“He was the child standing out on the street selling lemonade,” Ms Lynch said.

“He was also known to sell his spot in line for the shower at the Scout’s jamboree.”

However, his business savvy eye was not to be mistaken for a lack of compassion.

Scott faced challenges during his upbringing.

He wasn’t in contact with his father and Ms Lynch struggled with a variety of health issues including alcoholism, self-harm, obsessive compulsive disorder and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder.

Despite these factors, Scott was dedicated to his family, friends and his faith.

“Scott was everyone’s rock,” Ms Lynch said.

“He was wise beyond his years and the person everyone would want to talk to.

“He would always do whatever he could for others.”

Scott Lynch, pictured as a young boy, had a love for food. Picture: Supplied

He also had a passion for the outdoors. Picture: Supplied

On the night of the 24th, Ms Lynch and her partner were on their way home from a party.

An ambulance passed their car and in that moment Ms Lynch was reminded to purchase insurance before Scott’s birthday.

“I thought it was about the insurance, but it was a sign of his last thought,” Ms Lynch said.

Ms Lynch approached Scott’s bedroom, but was unable to open the door.

“It was locked, I just assumed he had his headphones on and couldn’t hear me,” Ms Lynch said.

“I sent my partner outside to get Scott’s attention through the window.

“I watched as my partner’s face dropped and I knew something was wrong … I’ve never run so fast and I kicked the door down.”

Sharlene found Scott unconscious and attempted to resuscitate him.

Ambulance officers ushered Ms Lynch out of the room and shortly after met her in the hallway.

“I saw the man’s mouth moving, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. It didn’t matter his expression said it all,” Ms Lynch said.

“I just crashed to the ground.”

Scott Lynch (third from right in back row) with Southern Suburbs Rugby Club teammates after winning a premiership. Picture: Supplied

When Ms Lynch could pull herself off the floor, she re-entered Scott’s bedroom, placed her head on his chest and spoke the words ‘I forgive you for your choice’.

“The whole time I was praying and the answer to my prayer wasn’t to bring my son back to life, it was one word and it was loud – ‘forgive’,” Ms Lynch said.

“I decided that night, I wasn’t just going to survive this, I was going to thrive through this, because that’s what Scott would want.”

“I didn’t understand it until much later, but instantly forgiving him put me in a different place to everyone else.”

Scott Lynch with his mother Sharlene (right) and grandmother Shirley. Picture: Supplied

Ms Lynch was overwhelmed by the response to Scott’s death.

In the months that followed, Ms Lynch adopted a unique approach to her grief.

“I changed the frequency with gratitude,” she said.

“But how do you turn your son dying one week off his 18th birthday? I just had to be grateful for the years I had.”

To this day, Ms Lynch still wonders how no one knew of Scott’s inner turmoil.

“How can it be that much of a mystery?” she said.

“Would it be different if Scott felt like he could go to a counsellor or therapist?”

Ms Lynch believes there are many holes in our mental health system with a lack of supportive conversation being the first to need society’s attention.

“It’s treated like a dirty subject, why don’t we want to talk about it?” she asked.

“It’s not good enough to have one day in September, R U OK Day needs to be every day.”

Education and funding round out Ms Lynch’s list.

“People don’t know what to look for,” she said.

“Where is the education piece, particularly in schools or in church?

“The structure needs to be changed and we need to put our money where our mouth is.”