SA suicide prevention advocate Perrin Abbas shares heartbreak of losing her partner

A heartbroken Adelaide woman has shared that ‘there’s no getting over’ the grief of losing a partner to suicide.

Two years on from tragically losing “the best human I knew”, an Adelaide suicide prevention advocate shares her heartache of life without “my person”.

“I feel like there is no moving on from this, there’s no moving through this … there’s no ‘getting over this’,” Perrin Abbas says.

“You just learn to build your life around (the grief); it’s like this deep crater of sorts that will always be there.”

Perrin Abbas, now 46, will never forget the moment she learned her partner, IT project manager turned disability worker and father or two Adam Webster, had taken his own life, aged 42.

Much-loved actor and comedian Robin Williams died by suicide in 2014.

“The previous evening, he and I had spoken for a good three to three and a half hours … it was the next afternoon (his sister) called me and I said, ‘this is not possible’,” she said.

“For a while, I was just numb. I couldn’t believe it … my time with Adam was the best two and half years of my life.

“You’re completely powerless against (the grief).”

Ms Abbas, both a disability inclusion project lead and yoga instructor who has trained in

mental health first aid, says it breaks her heart she didn’t realise the love of her life was contemplating suicide, despite him facing several life challenges including a years-long family court battle that involved access to his children from a previous relationship.

“I have got a background in psychology and behavioural sciences and for the longest time, I was like, ‘how did I not pick this up?’,” she says.

Perrin Abbas describes the two and a half years she spent with Adam Webster, who died by suicide, as the best of her life. Picture: Supplied

“He was just the easiest, kindest, nicest person I’d ever met … he was the best human I knew.

“He had a very high emotional intelligence and he was really funny … I called him my very own, Robin Williams; he was constantly monkeying around and pulling little pranks.

“We laughed a lot, we laughed like crazy nutters.”

She says despite “carrying the weight of the world” he remained kind-hearted and generous.

“He was having a tough time and we would talk about that … but the kind of person he was, he would say, ‘you don’t worry about it, you let me handle this, let’s not bring that into our relationship … he felt that he didn’t want to burden me with some of these things,” she said.

Perrin Abbas is a now fierce suicide prevention advocate. Picture: Supplied

Adam Webster, who died aged 42 by suicide, is described as kind, funny and generous. Picture: supplied

Today she is a fierce suicide prevention advocate, seeking to save others from her heartache.

In Australia, about nine people a day end their own lives with suicide being the leading cause of premature death and the main cause of death among people aged 15 to 44 – each year more die due to suicide than deaths on roads.

“A lot of people seem to think that suicide is just about mental illness, it is not … there’s a whole lot of other trauma that’s in place; systemic, relational, childhood experiences,” she said.

Ms Abbas, who found support through AnglicareSA’s StandBy Support After Suicide program, will share more of her story at the charity’s weekend Walk Through the Darkness and into the Light event, marking International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day.

#The public is invited to walk in solidarity with those touched by suicide, meeting at Adelaide Shores Sailing Club or Tennyson’s Oarsman Reserve at 5am or to join for breakfast at Henley Square at 6.30am.