Federal Budget 2018: What Treasurer Scott Morrison said versus what he really meant
ADVERTISER journalist Michael McGuire gets inside the mind of Treasurer Scott Morrison as he delivers his budget speech.
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- FIVE-MINUTE GUIDE: The Federal Budget... fast.
- THE STATE: How South Australia fared in ScoMo’s Budget.
- CALCULATOR: What does the Federal Budget mean for you?
- INFRASTRUCTURE: The big ticket items explained.
ADVERTISER journalist Michael McGuire gets inside the mind of Treasurer Scott Morrison as he delivers his budget speech.
What he said: What have you achieved? What are you going to do now? What does it mean for me?
What he meant: Have I started speaking yet or is this still my internal monologue?
What he said: These are the questions Australians want answered tonight.
What he meant: As well as ‘how the hell did Nic Naitanui get a game for that tackle?’
What he said: We have invested at record levels to build the roads, railways, airports and energy infrastructure Australia needs for the future.
What he meant: But no new coal-fired power stations. Sorry, Tony.
What he said: We have made responsible Budget savings — $41 billion legislated since the last election — to get spending under control.
What he meant: Which has certainly been easier since Bronwyn Bishop departed and we don’t have to pick up her helicopter bills.
What he said: We live in a very competitive world. If we make the wrong calls, other countries will ‘cut our lunch’.
What he meant:See, I’m an everyday Aussie. I speak the lingo. Bewdy mate.
What he said: Keep Australians safe, with new investments to secure our borders.
What he meant: Build that wall. Build that wall. Sorry, wrong country.
What he said: The Budget is forecast to return to a modest balance of $2.2 billion in 2019-20.
What he meant: After all, what’s a budget speech without another prediction of a budget surplus? Hey, Wayne, Joe?
What he said: The forecast outcome for 2019-20, as always, is subject to Treasury’s assessment of economic conditions at the time of the Budget.
What he meant: So blame them if these numbers turn out to be the fiscal equivalent of the
Hitler Diaries or as accurate as an Elon Musk Tesla production guess.
What he said: With the budget returning to balance we will start paying down debt.
What he meant: I know we have been banging on about this for years, but this time we really mean it.
What he said: It has been a long road back from where we started in 2013.
What he meant: Joe Hockey was useless.
What he said: The plan will result in more working Australians paying lower rates of tax. It will be enshrined in legislation.
What he meant: Paul Keating tried this, but I forget how that ended.
What he said: In 2022-23 we will make more substantial changes.
What he meant: By then I’ll be in the top job after knocking off Prime Minister Anthony Albanese.
What he said: We are making sure small businesses don’t get ripped off by other businesses who deliberately go bust to avoid paying their bills, with tough new anti phoenixing measures.
What he meant: This is not just aimed at Tony Abbott. He will not be rising from the ashes of his self-immolation.
What he said: This is about building another strong and competitive industry in Australia that will generate income and jobs, from the white coats in the labs to the workers making new medical devices.
What he meant : I thought all the white coats were made in China.
What he said: The Government will invest more than $2.4 billion in Australia’s public technology infrastructure.... supercomputers, world class satellite imagery, more accurate GPS across Australia, upgrading the Bureau of Meteorology’s technology platform, a national space agency and leading research in artificial intelligence.
What he meant: Yep, no mention of the NBN, Good work on that one, Malcolm.
What he said: The Australian Financial Complaints Authority will stand up on 1 November and our Banking Executive Accountability Regime starts on July 1.
What he meant: Better late than never.
What he said: We’re living longer. It’s a good thing.
What he meant: Especially for older dads like Barnaby
What he said: Protecting Australia from those who seek to do us harm and exert unwelcome influence on our soil.
What he meant: People like Mark Zuckerberg for example
What he said: It’s not clever. It’s not OK. It’s a crime.
What he meant:That My Kitchen Rules finale was a joke.
What he said: Tax relief to encourage and reward working Australians.
What he meant: There’s an election coming, there’s an election coming, there’s an election coming.
What he said: Ensuring the Government continues to live within its means.
What he meant: Ok, technically you can’t “continue’ with something that hasn’t started.
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