South Australia man Anthony Neave pleads for pokies reform after wife loses her life

POKER machines. It’s a hot-button issue that has divided South Australia ahead of the March 17 election — but there is no doubt in Anthony Neaves’ mind that reform is necessary as he shares his heartbreaking story as a gambling widower.

• Greens: Pokies ban on pubs and clubs within five years
• SA Best: Plans to cut numbers by a third over five years

ANTHONY Neave first met his future wife Chieu as a student at Woodville High School in Adelaide’s northwest in the 1990s.

As a child, Chieu arrived in Australia after her parents stole a boat to flee war-torn Vietnam.

“She got so sick, the story goes, that they almost threw her overboard,” Anthony, of Rosewater, told the Sunday Mail.

The hardworking migrants worked at various jobs, including stints in a linen factory to make a life for themselves in their adopted homeland.

As a teenager, Chieu had a passion for R & B music, including boy band New Kids On the Block.

Anthony and Chieu did not become an item during high school, in part, he believes, because Chieu mistakenly thought he was the boy who would direct spitballs her way in geography class.

“She probably thought I was a bit of a jerk,” he said.

“We didn’t start dating until after school, when we were about 18 or 19.”

Anthony Neave lost his wife Chieu to suicide in November 2015. Picture: Bianca De Marchi

The pair were married on September 6, 1998, and had a son, Kae, the following year.

In November 2014, the pair separated, with Anthony and Kae leaving the family home.

Almost a year later to the day, on November 8, 2015, Chieu took her own life.

“I feel like a part of me died with Chieu that day,” Anthony said.

The security worker, who describes himself as a “broken man”, believes it was his wife’s addiction to poker machines that triggered a pattern of behaviour that ultimately led to her death.

The 40-year-old is telling his story now as next Saturday’s state election is shaping as one of the most important for pubs and clubs in South Australian history.

Former senator Nick Xenophon, who has spent 20 years rallying against poker machines, and the Greens have both proposed drastic cuts to the number of machines in the state.

The Australian Hospitality Association (SA) say the policies would cripple the industry.

The cost of poker machines across South Australia

Last year, $260 million of gaming taxes were paid to the State Government after $680 million was lost on poker machines in 514 venues across the state.

Anthony, who has become an advocate against the more than 12,000 machines across SA, says the only way to alleviate the harm they can cause to families such as his is to get rid of them altogether.

During happier times, Anthony and Chieu would enjoy day trips around SA.

Anthony Neave is working with the Greens to ban pokies. Picture: Bianca De Marchi

They would head to the Barossa Valley, or the Adelaide Hills or Victor Harbor.

One year, they took an impromptu trip to Tasmania, where they sought to see as much as possible in four days with a map and a hire car.

A swag of pictures provided to the Sunday Mail show the couple enjoying time with friends and family, Chieu with a constant smile on her face.

“She was a very outgoing person and always the life of the party,” Anthony said.

“She was a beautiful person, inside and out.

“Poker-machine addiction, like any addiction, changes people.

“Chieu began to lie, steal and cheat to support her habit.

“It’s hard to trust someone like that. It destroyed our relationship.”

Anthony said a police report said Chieu “had a serious gambling problem which resulted in her squandering a substantial amount of money”.

“I kick myself every day for being so naive,” he said.

“She played them for many years before taking her own life. She kept the addiction hidden very well.

“Often she would play it down, she would lie about her reasons for being at a certain pokie venue, or she would give me some other explanation.”

Anthony and Chieu Neave.

After her death, Anthony discovered a raft of transactions, some unauthorised, on both Chieu’s debit card and her mum’s credit card.

“I really didn’t know the seriousness of the issue until it was too late,” he said.

“We do know that she lost over $55,000 in the last four months of her life.

“Often she would go to these venues and she would be given $200, four or five times a session, so we are looking at $1000 a session in most cases.”

In a bid to seek some justice for his wife, Anthony has contacted the Coroner, the State Government minister, the government department and the authority responsible for gaming machines.

Anthony wants the Coroner to be able to investigate the impact that gaming machines have had on people as they take their lives. He said bank statements showed “there is financial behaviour” that indicated “that pokies were one of the main reasons, if not the main reason, Chieu took her own life”.

Anthony, Kae and Chieu Neave

A spokesman for the Coroner’s Office told the Sunday Mail the bank statements were taken into account when police investigated the death for the office.

But there will be no inquest.

The spokesman said records were not kept of gaming-related deaths.

Anthony is frustrated with the five or six venues Chieu used regularly “when they probably should have exercised their duties in ‘responsible gaming’ and cut her off — or at least spoke to her about her addiction”.

His calls come despite the industry saying harm minimisation measures and protection for SA gaming machine players being the most rigid in the country.

Anthony believes the political fix is simple — cut pokies from pubs and clubs.

“It is more than just the addicts that we need to protect,” he said. “My wife lost a lot of friends as a result of her addiction; she would borrow money from people with no intention of paying it back.

“At the end of the day, these machines do far too much damage and we need to get rid of them. Poker machines do destroy lives, they destroy families, and they take money from our communities.”

■ If you or someone you know needs to talk about issues raised by this article, call the Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858 or Lifeline on 13 11 14.