Tory Shepherd: Somehow, 15 months on, there’s even more uncertainty than there was back then

With Australia ranked dead last in the OECD for vaccinations, who should we really blame for the latest run on shopping aisles, writes Tory Shepherd.

As speculation about a South Australian lockdown swirled Wednesday morning, the toilet paper was already gone in some supermarkets.

The bog-roll mania continued even after Premier Steven Marshall confirmed there would be further restrictions, but no stay-at-home orders (for which we can all thank the lovely miner who did the right thing after returning from the Northern Territory). And even though shops stay open.

Confession: I was an early adopter of the panic buy. Way back in March 2020, not long after the first Covid-19 death in Australia, I loaded up. Not on toilet paper, so much, but the essentials. Shiraz. Anchovies. That sort of thing.

It was because I’ve consumed so many books and movies and series about pandemics, and plenty of nonfiction material, too. Outbreaks are unpredictable, and often unstoppable. I’ve spent too much time thinking about what I’d do in a zombie apocalypse. And I reckon if I had the money, I’d build a bunker and fill it with whiskey, two-minute noodles, and a Walking Dead-style crossbow.

Glenelg Coles toilet paper and hand sanitiser shelves looking sparse. Again.

But I still scoffed along with many others when people started stacking their trolleys high with two-ply. Let alone when scuffles broke out over the last rolls of Who Gives A Crap. Fifteen months later, we’re still scrapping it out for the multi-packs. On reflection, though, I get it.

Firstly, now that Australians are pre-conditioned to expect toilet paper shortages whenever things start to go to crap, they rush to beat the crowd. It’s a self-fulfilling toilet paper prophecy. Secondly, if the virus is about to start spreading through the community, plenty of us would actually like to get the essentials then bunker down before it gets everywhere. Most importantly, when things are uncertain, people want to do something (anything) to feel some sense of control.

Somehow, 15 months on, there’s even more uncertainty than there was back then.

And whose fault is that?

Cases keep leaking out of hotel quarantine, decades after successive governments were warned there would be pandemics and proper quarantine facilities were needed.

Australia is ranked dead last out of the OECD countries for vaccination, with fewer than 5 per cent fully vaccinated. About 12 million people are in lockdown, while other countries are opening up. It’s hard to process when Australia was the poster child for handling this pandemic early on. It feels like we did our bit, already, and now those in charge have stopped doing theirs.

The latest strain to hit our shores is far more transmissible than the original, and we have barely any more protection. We now know people can catch it from a fleeting contact.

On Wednesday, some directly contradicted Prime Minister Scott Morrison on who should get the AstraZeneca vaccine.

At his press conference on Monday night he said any adult could ask their GP for the AZ jab. “If you wish to get the AstraZeneca vaccine, then we would encourage you to go and have that discussion with your GP,” he said.

Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk said that was not a decision made by national cabinet. Victorian Health Minister Martin Foley said it was a rushed decision.

The Australian Medical Association is still urging people under 60 to wait for the Pfizer jab if they can – in line with the official advice from the Australian Technical Advisory Group on Immunisation.

“There is a lot of confusion out there and unfortunately the Prime Minister has thrown a little bit of a hand grenade into our vaccine program,”, ” AMA president Omar Khorshid said on Sky.

Both Mr Morrison and Health Minister Greg Hunt, when questioned about the questionable vaccine rates, point every which way but at themselves.

The UK has more people on ventilation, Mr Hunt said, adding that the statistics can be “cut in many different ways”. They can, but no matter which way you cut them, Australia is a laggard and the communication strategy is an omnishambles.

Lockdowns and restrictions make people suffer. Businesses suffer, families suffer. Every time a border slams shut people are stuck looking for non-existent windows. They cost money, and jobs.

You know what’s worse? A pandemic running rampant. Research consistently shows the earlier you lock down, the more lives are saved. Some experts in the UK reckon that if their lockdown had started sooner, the death toll would have been halved.

It’s not the lockdowns people should be angry at. And it’s not the toilet paper bandits who prove there are idiots out there. It’s the entire system that allows both to happen.