Tax is the rent we pay on democracy. Enjoy what it buys | Peter Goers

Death, taxes, conspiracy theorists and commuter gridlock are inevitable and even sovereign citizens pay up, writes Peter Goers.

Before the last federal election I was asked, “Do you want to pay less tax?”. I was at the wonderful biannual Arms And Collectibles Fair at the dish lickers at Angle Park.

I was buttonholed by a personable candidate for the Australian Libertarian Party.

That party wants to privatise willy nilly and make tobacco cheaper. The latter is appealing.

“No”, I replied, “I want to pay more tax.” He was dumbstruck.

I’d happily pay more tax for better and cheaper healthcare, for public education and free university education, social welfare, subsidised housing and the arts.

I’m not happy paying tax to fund obscenely wealthy private schools, armaments, automatic pay rises for pollies and a Greg Norman-designed golf course in the parklands.

Other people baulk at their taxes subsidising opera. And that’s democracy.

Tax is the rent we pay on democracy.

Post-EOFY it’s tax time. I’m hopelessly innumerate. There’s one, two, three and many.

Bless accountants and tax agents everywhere.

Good luck if you can do your own income tax as I’d rather have a root canal filling. I’ve been so helped by a succession of accountants, Laurie Higgins, Des Marnane and the lovely Sarah Coudrey who has pink hair and eagle eyes for a deduction.

Tax law and regulations are labyrinthine and gnomic. No-one understands it at all except that the rich get richer while the poor pay tax.

Inexplicably, millions of millionaires pay little or no tax.

If you want to avoid paying tax pretend to lose money. Negative gearing is a boon. Build or buy a multistorey building and leave it empty and make a fortune by avoiding tax.

The horrendous hotelier Leona Helmsley once screamed, “Only the little people pay taxes” and bequeathed $12m to her dog.

The rich love flat tax. GST hurts the poor. Politicians always go to the polls promising lower taxes and then they raise taxes. PM Howard, to his credit, won an election promising to raise tax – the GST.

There are so many sneaky taxes, levies and stamp duties. There are words that spike fear in your heart – white ants, salt damp, stamp duty and South Road.

Keep receipts. Don’t lie (too much) to the ATO and by paying tax you get to be outraged “as a taxpayer”.

Avoiding tax is tricky unless you start a religion or start your own country and secede from Oz like the audacious Prince Leonard and Princess Shirley of the Hutt River Province. Buy gold.

Death, taxes, conspiracy theorists and South Rd gridlock are inevitable and even sovereign citizens pay taxes. Pay your taxes and enjoy what they buy.

For generations, Aboriginal people were massacred, denied citizenship, stolen, told they were a dying race, forced to assimilate and ignored.

An Acknowledgement of Country or a Welcome to Country is a beautifully respectful tribute to our First Nations people who are the world’s oldest civilisation and who gave us – in the songlines – the world’s first literature.

A welcome from or an acknowledgment of Aboriginal people is crucial but just once per function, please.

Politicians are the worst offenders.

After a welcome or an acknowledgment every pollie who subsequently speaks must parrot it. It becomes lip service and it makes a noble gesture meaningless and tedious. Once per function is grand and fitting.

I don’t know the Kaurna for once is enough, but I do know yangadlitya kumangka. For the future, together.

(Beryl, Lady Dunstan, wife of SA Governor, Sir Donald Dunstan, with the Lady Mayoress Angela Condous, at the National Council of Women cocktail party in Adelaide Town Hall on November 28, 1990.

HOT/NOT/VALE

HOT

Squid Game on Netflix – wow!

There’s almost nothing on Kangaroo Island that is not on Yorke Peninsula and it’s much cheaper and easier to get to.

NOT

E-scooters should be banned, not encouraged.

The Bezos wedding cost $75m not including a $7m ring while Amazon employees are underpaid and being replaced by robots.

VALE

Beryl Dunstan – a fine South Australian lady.