Susie O’Brien: Not all boys are part of misogynist problem, but all must be part of the solution

A growing pushback against misogynist behaviour exhibited by young males has led to #notallboys trending around the world. But it misses the point.

A scene from Netflix series Adolescence, which tackles the issue of misogynist behaviour among young boys. Picture: Netflix

A growing pushback against misogynist behaviour exhibited by young males has led to the #notallboys hashtag trending around the world.

Its proponents argue that innocent, well-meaning boys who treat women and girls with respect are unfairly targeted as abusers in the discussions about male sexual abuse in schools.

I prefer to think of it as #yesallboys. This is not because all boys are abusers. Of course they are not.

However, we need all boys to be part of the solution, so we need to think of this as an issue affecting #yesallboys. This is the only hope we have in bringing about the widespread cultural change that is so desperately needed in schools.

We must stop seeing this as a problem solely confined to a few “bad eggs” and instead as one reflective of the school culture as a whole.

As Monash University researcher George Variyan’s work shows, an uber-competitive masculine culture in schools enables and fuels sexist and misogynist attitudes.

One former private school student he interviewed told of another boy who had sex with a girl, filmed it then shared it with other boys, which he said was considered a “God-level” act at the time.

We cannot stop young males from making bomb threats when getting on planes, creating pornographic images of their female classmates or participating in a discussion assessing the “rapeability” of their female peers. These are all recent Victorian examples.

But we can bring about a school-wide cultural shift whereby such things are immediately disclosed by bystanders, or reported to teachers, and dealt with.

The perpetrators can then swiftly be punished and educated rather than treated as a “god”. Student leaders also have roles to play in setting a good examples.

This is why calls from Our Watch to embed respectful relationships in all schools is critically important. It is not solely the work of schools to address these issues, but they have a key role to play.

Parents, too, are key partners in addressing such behaviour.

Too often they pressure schools to downplay abuse perpetrated by their children and assume the person at fault is #notmyboy.

Sadly, it often is. This is why we must stop thinking about #notallboys as perpetrators and look at #yesallboys for solutions.

Originally published as Susie O’Brien: Not all boys are part of misogynist problem, but all must be part of the solution