Peter Goers: Smokers unfairly whacked by extortionate prices and ineffective plain packaging

WANT to live longer? Don’t smoke, don’t drink alcohol, don’t eat fatty and sugary food and exercise rigorously daily. You’ll live longer. It will seem longer, too.

WANT to live longer? Don’t smoke, don’t drink alcohol, don’t eat fatty and sugary food and exercise rigorously daily.

You’ll live longer. It will seem longer, too. Here’s a big secret: 100 per cent of non-smokers die.

But stop smoking. Young people don’t even think about smoking. It’s expensive and ruinous to your health. Happily, there’s nothing wrong with my lung but I’ve smoked a house. I could have bought a house with what I’ve spent on durries but I probably wouldn’t be able to smoke in that house, anyway.

Nicola Roxon, the former federal Health Minister, gave us the most expensive cigarettes in the world and the most hideous “plain” packaging. She’s very proud of “the world’s toughest anti-smoking laws”. Thanks Nic.

Every packet is covered with health pornography – death, death, pain, toilets, death. My brand of cigs costs upward of $18.95 for 20 and, thanks to Nic, the price rises by more than 12.5 per cent a year.

This same packet costs $1.50 duty free in Dubai and Singapore. Ms Roxon also stopped travellers bringing in a carton of duty free cigs. Now you can only bring in two packets.

Incredibly, I’m told by the good people at the Cancer Council of SA that there’s been no evaluation of the effectiveness of “plain” packaging.

Here’s mine. It doesn’t work. Nicotine is the most addictive and powerful drug known to humanity. Most smokers would, sad to say, reach into a diseased lung or under a gangrenous foot to get a fix. Pictures don’t deter. Health pornography is novel for a day or two and is then invisible.

Excessive prices seemed preventive. That doesn’t work. More people are smoking since the huge price hike.

The SA Health and Medical Research Institute tells us that smoking rates have risen since Ms Roxon’s regimen. An extra 59 million sticks of tobacco have been sold in Australia. The punitive anti-smoking legislation is not working. It’s taxation disguised as social policy.

Tobacco is the most highly taxed product in Australia. Three-quarters of the price is tax.

Imagine if other things were taxed at this level – a $6 beer would be $24, a mixed drink $32, your new Commodore $120,000, a pie and a Coke $40. There’d be riots in the street.

Smokers put up with his every day. They turn to crime to smoke, and since the price rise there’s been a huge increase in convenience stores robbed for smokes.

More than 20 years ago on these pages I predicted someone would come into my house and ask me not to smoke. That happened twice before I showed them the door.

When will tradesmen ask me not to smoke in my own house and their workplace. Recently I took five pairs of clean cords to a dry cleaner for alteration and the dry cleaner refused to handle my daks because I’m a smoker and they smelled of smoke.

Self-righteousness is the condition of our times. People sidle up to me when I’m smoking and say: “It’s bad for you, you know”. I reply, sarcastically: “No! You’re kidding! I thought it was good for me. I’ll give up immediately. Thanks for telling me!”

Then they are offended. Would they sidle up to some fat person shoving a greasy hamburger down their gob or a boozed-up citizen knocking back a sherbet and say “bad for you, you know”. No but it’s always open season on smokers.

Legislation to stop people smoking in public places empowers the self-righteous. Smoke in the hideous new Rundle Mall and someone will soon tell you not to. Tell them to do their duty as a citizen and call the police immediately.

The police have nothing better to do and by the time they arrive you won’t be smoking or even be there. How many people have been fined for smoking where they shouldn’t in SA. None? Toothless legislation.

We hate smokers but we are going to pay people to lose weight, there are legal injecting rooms for illegal drugs, alcohol companies sponsor sport and now we must encourage more schoolchildren to make wine. Why just wine? Can’t they learn how to distil spirits, make guns and bombs and crystal meth?

The only honest broker in the smoking debate is Liberal senator Chris Back, from WA. He observed at the time of the Roxon legislation that smoking is bad for us so why is this government making $10 billion a year out of smokers.

Let’s ban it and be the first nonsmoking country. Bravo. But governments are more interested in taxing smokers than stopping them and free choice is very expensive.

Peter Goers can be heard weeknights on 891 ABC Adelaide

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WHAT’S HOT/WHAT’S NOT

HOT

■ Lleyton Hewitt’s weird West Lakes house finally sells. What a relief!

■ SA Gilbert and Sullivan star Harold Berrett goes to the dress circle in the sky at 92. Vale.

■ Adelaide Cabaret Festival especially Johanna Allen this Thursday and Friday.

■ Many Spaniards want a republic because of the corrupt monarchy

■ Sound, lighting and stage management at the Festival Centre — world’s best

■ Thank your postie while you can

■ Rik Mayall — cutting edge funny. Vale.

NOT

■ Federal pollies don’t pay fuel excise

■ The SA Visitor Information Centre tucked away in James Place. Not wanted in Rundle Mall. Shameful.