Peter Goers: It’s fun to indulge in armchair travel and dream of places we might visit when and if we can

The best thing about Paris is leaving and no one wants to step foot in Trump’s America. North Korea sounds interesting though and I’ll always have Broken Hill, writes Peter Goers.

I’d love to go to North Korea. You can get very cheap package holidays there over Christmas and New Year. Cue emails telling me not to come back. Sadly, I doubt I’ll get there. If you are, or ever have been, a member of the media, you are prohibited from the pleasures of Pyongyang. Pity.

Of course none of us is going anywhere at the moment, beyond our borders, but it’s fun to indulge in armchair travel and dream of places we might visit when and if we can. Where would you like to go?

Who’d want to step foot in the US if Trump is re-elected? If he’s released back to reality TV and to owning casinos that lose money, I’d love to see Pittsburgh, Santa Fe and give San Francisco another go and hope it’s not foggy.

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is not renowned for his hospitality. Picture: Ed Jones/ AFP

I’m keen on visiting Albania, Trieste, Madrid (for a bullfight and art), Lisbon, Bogota, La Paz, Devil’s Island, Pakistan, Amritsar, Zanzibar, Tonga, Honiara, Damascus, Yogyakarta and the Galapagos Islands. I’m desperate to visit Silesia, once part of Germany, now in Poland, whence my forbears came.

The worst place I’ve ever visited is Paris. It’s full of horrendously rude people and terrible food. The best part of Paris is leaving it. However, I’d like to return for just one day to visit Proust’s grave and his cork-lined study.

I’d also like to go to Japan for a day to visit the emperor’s garden and Jamaica for a day to see Noel Coward’s grave.

If I never get to any of these places, I’ll always have the Silver City of Broken Hill — a place that always restores my sad old soul. Give me a desert and tough, good-hearted people and a pastie and I’m happy.

The only places in South Australia I haven’t been are Marla and Arkaroola, and here I come. Marla is doubtless more sophisticated than Paris and many’s the time I’ve sat at the roadhouse in Yunta eating the best steak sandwich in the world, looking at the sign to Arkaroola. I’ll get there.

We need to further encourage SA and Australian tourism. It’s marvellous that people are touring SA in great numbers. RAA Tourism reports its hotel bookings in regional SA are up 720 per cent on last year. Wow! So off we go to places we love and places we’d love to love.

Further afield, I’m keen to check out Kalgoorlie, Broome, Katherine, Cairns, Cooktown and see the merry-go-round in Geraldton.

I’d love to go to Tumby Bay and hang out with my mate “Reefer” Harris, stay at the cabin park in beautiful downtown Naracoorte and swim in the lake, which is my sacred site. I want to swim at Solly Beach at Port Pirie, gaze at one of the great views in the world from Hummock Hill in Whyalla and quaff oysters at Coffin, Smoky and Streaky bays.

It’s my dream to perform in every town hall and institute hall in SA with Fiona O’Loughlin and a few musos on a long, slow tour in a caravanserai. While I’m at it, I’d like to swim across SA by swimming in every public swimming pool in our great state.

If ever I go missing, I’ll be at the Meningie Waterfront Motel or Elizabeth Motor Inn, which are hostelries of my heart’s desire.

Just like Adelaide, North Korea has one good thing going for it. It’s unlikely to host the Commonwealth Games. What a relief.

And by the way, why can’t the windswept Falkland Islands host the Commonwealth Games? Christopher Pyne should lobby for that and while he’s at it, his beloved Crows could play there.

Peter Goers can be heard weeknights and Sundays on ABC Radio Adelaide.