Opinion | The Elf on the Shelf has become a parental Olympic sport in 2023 and we know who is to blame

A quick scroll of your social feeds will reveal the utterly ridiculous lengths some parents are taking the Elf on the Shelf craze. It’s time to do ourselves a favour and dial it back a bit.

If you thought 2023 couldn’t get any more exhausting then no one was truly prepared for December – and the arrival of Elf on the Shelf.

That smug rosy-cheeked twerp has been a relatively new Christmas hindrance to parents in the last few years.

But this year, it has become a merry monster of serious up-mumship. A parental Olympic sport of sorts.

A quick scroll through socials and the shelf is no longer good enough for the elf.

There’s an elf sitting in a bowl of tiny marshmallows, with tiny cucumbers over its eyes.

Take a moment to breathe parents, 2023 has been a year.

A minuscule sign next to it reads, “Quiet please, spa treatment in session”.

An elf has a tiny ironing board to smooth out the crinkles in chips, feeding them to another elf. So many elves.

And a figurine of Elsa from Frozen sits proudly next to an elf trapped in a large block of ice, captioned: “My elf on a shelf didn’t have a chance! Haaaaaaaa”.

Sweet baby Jesus, we even have Mr Potato Head being shredded to make real fries beneath a grater by two naughty elves.

It’s all about getting creative with that elf this December, and the most innovative of the mums – and let’s be honest, it is largely driven by mums – are heaped by praise by other mums for their valiant attempts.

Even if there’s only a rather tenuous link to Christmas. Crinkle crisps, oh please.

It’s all a bit much.

And while it would be easy to start whinging about the pressures it puts on us less creative (read: absolutely exhausted) parents and how it’s all a bit extra, it’s perhaps easy to see how we landed here …

Has Elf on the Shelf become a competitive sport in 2023?

In 2023, we have faced rental shortages, interest rate hikes and a cost of living crisis. Fuel prices have rocketed and power bills are opened with bated breath and a peek of one eye. Oh, and the rumblings of war. Let’s not forget that.

Australians let out a collective gasp when the modest iceberg lettuce went up to $12 a head. Restaurant and cafe owners had to pivot to using cabbage on burgers instead, which felt rather deluded as no one was really eating out, were they?

We were all at home, yelling about turning off the lights, trying to get a pack of mince to last over three meals instead of two, and praising the power of layers as we turned our back on heating our homes.

It was all a bit much.

The elf is on the ride of its life in 2023. Picture: Natasha Anderson

Better wheels than the rest of us as the cost of living bites. Picture: Lynne Rasmussen

The elf has even infiltrated the bathroom. Picture: Instagram @renea_88_

A smorgasbord of elf 'poo'. Instagram: abbie_louise.x

Anyway, back to the elf.

It’s no secret that when the world feels out of control, we try to control the things we can. In other words, let’s make this Christmas perfect to end a year of imperfection.

The Elf on the Shelf is the star of the show in this. The Christmas trees are looking like they’re plucked from a Hallmark card. Even Santa photos are now looking gleamed to perfection. Where’s the shonky beards and the crying babes?

Your eyes do not deceive you. Instagram: @alwaysmomforever

When one elf is not enough. Instagram.

But let’s accept a visit from the spirit of Christmas past.

Our boomer mum, chuffing on a Benson & Hedges as she threw overcooked Woolworths finest onto our plates. The tree looked like it has been decorated by feral cats with a fetish for tinsel. And the presents were more sellotape than paper.

“It’ll bloody do,” could be heard in regular intervals. Because it would bloody do.

So, parents – but, really, largely mums – pour yourself a glass of your favourite tipple, put that elf where it belongs, yep, up there on the shelf, put your feet up and take a breather as 2023 has been, well, a bit much.