Now is the time to have the hard conversations with our kids | Kara Jung

There was only one subject on the mind of South Australian parents over this heartbreaking weekend, writes Kara Jung.

Like so many South Australians, my heart felt heavy this weekend with the tragic news a young man had lost his life at Goolwa Beach in what should have been a night of celebration.

I work in a newsroom, so reporting on tragic events is part of the job.

Every now and then something happens that churns and sits heavier on your chest. That happened this weekend.

For years through Covid, I would be sitting at my desk madly transcribing as Police Commissioner Grant Stevens delivered his calm and measured plans, guiding the state through the pandemic.

I’d listen as a holiday approached and he once again begged people to make safe choices on our roads.

I remember him making a funny quip on radio one morning as I drove somewhere with my husband and us having a discussion about how he seems like a “good, practical and funny bloke”. I don’t know him personally but he’s been a familiar face in our lives.

I headed to a long-planned lunch on Saturday morning thinking about the news a student was on life support after a tragic alleged hit-run during Schoolies – and that student was 18-year-old Charlie Stevens, son of the state’s top cop.

Charlie Stevens with his dad Grant Stevens. Picture: Supplied

Flowers on Beach Road, Goolwa, where Charlie was struck by a car. Picture: Morgan Sette

I couldn’t stop thinking about this boy who had just become a man. About the future he had ahead of him. About how happy he would have been to be out celebrating the end of school life with his mates. And I couldn’t stop thinking about his mum and his dad and siblings and how their lives are changed forever.

I thought too of the young man who was allegedly behind the wheel of the car that hit Charlie. And how he and his family’s lives too had irrevocably changed in a second.

It bought back the heartache of a dear friend’s 18-year-old daughter who a few years ago was thrown from a car as it hit a tree on Anzac Hwy. She almost died that night.

It was someone else at the lunch table – a friend who lives near Goolwa – who said, “Im sorry but did you see the news about the Schoolies accident, I just can’t get it out of my head.”

“I could hear the sirens last night and my heart dropped.”

It’s so sad and so easy for a split second to change the course of lives in such a devastating manner.

Tribute from Emma Stevens for her son Charlie.

Charlie Stevens.

I kept thinking of my son. He’s 11. And of my daughter, who is about to turn 8. It’s a while before parties and driving but it’s already going by in a flash. The events at Schoolies are every parent’s worst nightmare.

When I got home that night I grabbed their squishy cheeks and hugged them tight.

The next day at our U12s cricket match, a mother said she had been refreshing her news feed obsessively – she felt so distraught.

A dad said he’d sat down with his young son and talked about parties and driving.

Another friend said it had prompted a serious chat with their teens about Schoolies.

Over the course of this weekend I spoke to many parents who said the tragedy had touched them is a way they were not expecting – and prompted talks with their children.

I spoke to my children on Sunday too. We talked about parties. We talked about looking out for your mates. And we talked about how huge a responsibility it is when you get behind the wheel of a car.

We talked about how their brains are not fully developed and part of that means they feel a little invincible with a “it won’t happen to me” attitude.

But it can and it does.

I told them I don’t care whether they are 15, 18 or 27, or if it’s 3am in the morning . . I will come and pick them up. From anywhere, always.

We talked about how lucky we are to love each other.

Instead of heading straight up to bed we took an evening stroll to the national park near our home.

When it was time to go they begged to stay a little longer, playing chasey and jumping over the creek squealing with laughter and debating whether your feet were allowed to touch the water according to the game they just invented. I let them.

As we walked home I told them I loved them.

Nothing will diminish the pain for the Stevens family, but I do hope they know that thousands of South Australians paused to have important conversations with their children this weekend. Conversations that may even save a life.

That children were allowed to play a little longer and were hugged a little tighter this weekend. Thanks to Charlie.