Nathan Davies: There is some pretty bad yuletide music out there. But maybe you can be reminded of some of the good stuff
There is some pretty bad yuletide music out there. However, perhaps you just need to be reminded of the good stuff, writes Nathan Davies. Here’s 10 of the best.
I am generally not envious of the English.
They live on a rainy island, their Prime Minister has dumb hair and they use the wrong colours on their chip packets.
However, there is one element of English culture that I do admire and that’s their propensity for group singing.
Give a Pom* a reason to sing and they’ll embrace it wholeheartedly. Cricket, soccer, rugby, leaves on the tube track, a world war, a good cup of tea – it doesn’t take much to get the English singing.
Naturally, then, Christmas songs are a pretty big deal in Old Albion.
As one Englishman in the office put it the other day: “It just don’t feel like Christmas if there’s no ‘Noddy’ Holder and Slade in the shopping malls.”
Indeed, nabbing the number one position on the pop charts at Christmas time in the UK is a celebrated feat up there with winning the Ashes.
Some of the songs to hold the coveted position include Boney M’s Mary’s Boy Child, Cliff Richard’s Mistletoe and Wine, and, um, Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman’s Something Stupid.
While the Brits embrace Christmas music wholeheartedly, here in Australia it tends to be a line-in-the-sand type of proposition.
You’re either all in, playing Mariah Carey on repeat from Christmas pageant day, or you’re completely out and you think festive music is among the worst works of the devil.
If you’re firmly in the second camp I can sympathise – there is some pretty bad yuletide music out there. However, perhaps you just need to be reminded of the good stuff. The great stuff, even.
With that in mind, I present the 10 Actually Good Christmas Songs of Christmas:
10. Christmas in Hollis, Run-DMC: A funky jam with big horns, some trademark scratching and that infectious Run-DMC vibe.
9. How to Make Gravy, Paul Kelly: We all know the pain of not being able to spend Christmas with loved ones. Hopefully not because we’re in jail.
8: Run Rudolph Run, Chuck Berry: Where the rightful king of rock ‘n’ roll lays down a rollicking 12-bar reindeer jam.
7: Father Christmas, The Kinks: A rocking Kinks track about dressing as Santa and getting mugged by a bunch of tough kids.
6: Little Drummer Boy, David Bowie and Bing Crosby: One of the most beautiful Christmas carols, two of the defining voices of their generations. Perfect.
5: Blue Christmas, Elvis Presley: The best of Elvis’s many Christmas songs, thanks largely to the amazing backing vocals of The Jordanaires.
4: Last Christmas, Wham!: Oh come on, you can’t deny the power of this song. He gave his heart away!
3: Six White Boomers, Rolf Harris: I know, I know. Honestly, I know. But it’s still one of the best Aussie Christmas songs ever.
2: Happy Christmas (War is Over), John Lennon and Yoko Ono: Imagine is just a bit too soppy. This one, though. This one tugs right at the heartstrings: “Happy Christmas, Kyoko, happy Christmas, Julian”. I mean, come on!
1: Fairytale of New York, The Pogues with Kirsty MacColl: There’s a reason this rollicking, drunken gem of a song tops Christmas lists every year – it’s the best.
There’s something about Shane MacGowan rough-hewn tone blending with MacColl’s angelic voice that just works. “Happy Christmas you’re a..e.”
So there you have it, 10 good songs to queue up on Christmas morning.
Of course it’s a long way from an exhaustive list and leaves off some genuine Christmas crackers like James Brown’s Santa Clause Go Straight to the Ghetto, Fight Tonight by The Ramones, Feliz Navidad by Jose Feliciano and I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus by The Jackson 5.
You can comment to furiously agree with my Christmas choices, or (cue dramatic music) disagree with me.
Either way, have a very merry Christmas.
* I can say Pom because, according to one of my passports, I am one. Please address all letters of complaint to the letters editor.
*Editor’s note: Please don’t.