Nathan Davies: Adelaide’s great gig dilemma – should audiences sit or dance?

You’re at a concert seeing one of your favourite acts. Do you stand up and boogie – or stay seated and mutter abuse at those in front? TAKE OUR POLL

As Adelaide collectively prepares to celebrate the end of Sir Elton John’s stellar musical career by attending two concerts at Botanic Park on Wednesday and Thursday, we first need to agree on one thing. Are we standing up, or are we sitting down?

Are we getting out of our white plastic chairs to dance the Crocodile Rock and wave our Candles in the Wind, or are we giving the hips and knees a rest and partying in a seated position?

Because, believe me – and I know this because I’m lucky enough to have a job that involves going to lots of rock shows – nothing divides an Adelaide gig like the sitting-standing debate.

On the surface it’s a no-brainer – rock ‘n’ roll music, or most music outside the classical realm, is best enjoyed standing, preferably with a cold beer in one hand. It’s been this way since the dawn of rock. There were no chairs at Woodstock.

These days, as rock crowds grow older (along with the artists they’ve come to watch), the lines have blurred somewhat. We’ve been divided into two camps – the sitters and the dancers.

This was made abundantly clear at last week’s U2 concert at Adelaide Oval. A row of blokes in the section I was seated in decided to get up and dance during the more beat-driven numbers in the back half of the show. I could see their point.

The people behind them wanted them to sit the heck down so they could see the show that they’d paid good money to see from the seats that they’d paid even more money to sit in.

I could also see their point. The yellow-shirted security guards were summoned, the guys rightly pointed out they were within their rights to stand up and dance (it’s true, check Adelaide Oval’s fine print), then the red-shirted security boss confirmed they were, indeed, allowed to stand.

The blokes then made quite a point of dancing and pointing at the vanquished guards.

The “sit or stand” debate is particularly heated for acts that attract an older audience, such as Elton John who is performing in Adelaide this week.

At a Bob Dylan show at the Adelaide Entertainment Centre a few years back the guards had obviously been told everyone must remain seated.

It was a hoot to watch them play human whack-a-mole. Every time they got one person to sit another would pop up in another row, unable to contain their joy at finally working out which song Bob was singing.

Sometimes you can take your cue from the artist. If they’re yelling “c’mon Adelaide, get up and dance!” then nobody can really knock you for standing.

Other times it all seems to sort itself out, with punters standing for the rocky numbers and sitting for the quieter ones. More often, however, it’s a mixed crowd of feet people and bum people and the inevitable arguments ensue.

One of the golden rules of opinion writing is to never hedge your bets – you generally pick a side and stick to it. In this case, however, I’m honestly torn.

Sometimes, after a long day, I’m more than happy to spend two hours in a seat and watch a show. Other times I want to get up and show the world how crap I am at dancing. And, if the person in front of me stands, then I’m definitely standing.

So I guess, if I am forced to pick a side, I will come down on the side of standing. Although that doesn’t stop me from sympathising with the person with a dodgy hip who spent big money to see their favourite band and ended up with a view of the back of a pair of Levis.

Perhaps the promoters need to just declare a show seated or standing, and state it clearly on the ticket (although this doesn’t allow much room for spontaneous moments of ecstatic expression).

Whichever camp you land in, at least we can all find common ground in hating people who talk their way through an entire concert.

Those people are everyone’s enemies.