Natasha Palmer: My mother was killed by her ex-partner, but it was the system that failed her too
DESPITE an intervention order and an arrest, Graziella Dallier was murdered by her ex-partner, let down by the very system that was supposed to protect her. Ms Dallier’s daughter tells her story.
Opinion
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GRAZIELLA Dallier was a daughter, a sister, a mother, a grandmother, a aunty, a friend and at 48 years old she was a victim, murdered by her former partner.
In my mother’s case, we feel the judicial system had failed her.
The police were called on numerous occasions concerning his behaviour, including property damage, harassment, intimidation, domestic violence and breaching of an intervention order.
He was arrested and this is where tougher and more impacting punishments needed to take place.
Why, after everything he did over the years to my mum, were there no red flags concerning his behaviour?
This was not a once-off offence, there were serious problems here with a person who had no regard for the law or for the rights of a woman to live a normal peaceful life.
Why was there no intervention, why was he never made to address these issues?
Why should it have cost us my mother’s life rather than his freedom before it ever got to this.
The day we found mum and discovered she had in fact been murdered by the man who was able to continue to torment her for years, was utterly devastating and life changing.
Life has been a huge adjustment not having my mum. Especially when I realised I will go on with my life without ever having my beautiful mother’s advice, support, security and unconditional love.
On the day she died I vowed to myself, and more importantly I vowed to my mum, I would be her voice. Her death would not be in vein. She deserves nothing less.
Once you’ve experienced grief on this scale you look to get some closure. For our family, this will come with a Coroner’s inquest.
Our hope is that the Coroner will find the failings and see that there are indeed flaws in the system and, more importantly, recommend it’s time to create changes.
To ensure we break this cycle where vulnerable women and their children are being brutalised or murdered at the hands of their current or former partners is the best closure our family will ever get.
More significantly, it means mum finally has a voice that will stand strong, powerful and loud. A voice that will save lives and be motivational.
Awareness is another key factor. Every day at work I wear the white ribbon.
At least two people a week ask me what the white ribbon actually means.
There isn’t enough information out there to give these women and men the support and courage to leave and for members of the public to know how to use the resources available to help their loved ones. It’s not talked about enough.
Why not bring the next generation up knowing all the information they need? To teach them they have a voice and allow them to understand how they can help others in their community or in their personal life.
Domestic violence has become an epidemic and there is a need for a more proactive approach to be taken by government, police, the judicial system and the community at large to create change.
The lack of motivation in changing our ways both politically and within the community is frustrating.
This is also what has helped us feel strong enough to speak out.
Speaking out and standing up has been emotionally hard and extremely draining.
We have not yet been able to fully deal with what has happened, let alone the grief we feel every second of the day.
The bigger picture of positive change in mum’s name makes it all worthwhile.
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