Matthew Abraham: New normal gets weird and things get wobbly in Covidville
Closing our borders to maintain a Triple-A coronavirus rating does wonders for the approval rating but it’s also unsustainable. We can’t have it both ways, writes Matthew Abraham.
Opinion
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Fasten your seatbelts, folks, things are starting to get seriously wobbly in Covidsville. When our dear leaders spoke of a return to a “new normal” after the first wave of the COVID-19 pandemic washed over us, they didn’t explain the “new normal” was also going to be the “new weird”.
On Wednesday, we risked letting the grandies loose on the dizzying new adventure playground at the Blackwood Park estate, up in them thar hills.
It’s quite astonishing, a series of thick rope spider webs strung out at the height of the large gum trees surrounding it, as if Cirque du Soleil has decided to try a display home theme.
But that’s not what made us nervous. We were worried about the small white van parked nearby. Why? It had NSW number plates, that’s why.
In the old normal, this wouldn’t raise an eyebrow. But in the new normal, it raises all sorts of questions.
How did it get here? Have the occupants completed their 14-day mandatory quarantine or are they sneaking out for some fresh air and exercise? It could have been worse. It could have had Victorian number plates.
And what about the little kid running around with the persistent cough? Am I paranoid?
On the way home, we dropped into Cheap As Chips at Mitcham only to be confronted by a wall of hand sanitisers. Particularly impressive are the 1.5kg jumbo pump packs of sanitiser gel, made in China.
As something of a sanitiser connoisseur, the George Clooney of germaphobes, I’m partial to the excellent Zoosh hand sanitiser, made right here in reliable Ferryden Park by the local, family owned Chesser Chemicals, and have bought more pump packs than our household needs.
A few months ago, the shops were rationing hand sanitiser; now we’re tripping over the stuff. It’s like our health officials expect us to have nightly baths in 75 per cent ethyl alcohol. It’s sanitiser insanity.
That same day we learned that four Victorian fellows who’d tried to smuggle themselves into SA on a freight train had walked from court with a smack on the hand and free accommodation at the Pullman Hotel, courtesy of the SA taxpayer. Once COVID-19 clear, they were booted out.
The joke was on us. They obviously missed the “why would you want to go there?” letter from Victorian Premier Dan Andrews. Mind you, that was before The Troubles really began over the border.
In NSW border towns, mechanics are swamped with locals wanting to swap their Victorian number plates for NSW plates. It’s cheaper to register your car across the border in Victoria, but Vic plates are now about as welcome as a dog in a chook house.
Watching the Melbourne COVID-19 count bouncing along in triple figures day after day is a grim business that only heightens anxiety levels in our Adelaide cocoon.
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The local ABC news could help by ditching the floating coronavirus germs as a backdrop to its nightly TV bulletins. We get the picture, it’s a nasty bug – but do we need to have it rubbed in our faces every night?
Maybe it’s time the Marshall Government stopped giving daily COVID-19 updates unless something dramatic happens because while we talk about the threat of a “second wave” of the pandemic, statistically, SA has yet to experience the first wave.
We shouldn’t panic at news of single cases breaking our lucky streaks of zero cases.
Premier Steven Marshall needs to explain if he’s pursuing a strategy of controlling the virus – learning to live with it as he flagged a few weeks back – or eliminating it by ringbarking the state. You can’t do both.
Closing our borders to maintain a Triple-A coronavirus rating does wonders for his approval rating but it’s also unsustainable, posing long-term damage to our fragile economy.
Thursday’s jobs figures put SA sadly back on top of the nation’s unemployment league ladder with a rate of 8.8 per cent for June, getting perilously close to the dreaded 10.
Back at the playground, one young lass freaked out high inside the rope ladder tube, and her mum had to climb up to coax her down while other kids clambered past to the summit.
Too scared to go up or down, forward or back. It’s a jungle gym out there in Covidsville, but sometimes you have to risk it.