Matthew Abraham: Can we do a better job of Mali’s election ads?

Is the opposition leader’s down-to-earth media blitz enough to kick the goal? Matthew Abraham drills into Peter Malinauskas’ election game plan.

Hi, I’m Peter. You don’t know me from a bar of soap but I want the job of running South Australia.

Peter Malinauskas doesn’t actually say this in his slick, 60-second TV ads that have so enhanced our enjoyment of the Australian Open. But it’s the sub text.

The ads are really very good – kind of like Dove soap meets Maccas drive-through – and unusual in a South Australian political contest. Either Labor thinks it’s on a roll, or it’s

worried nobody knows who its leader is after four years in the job.

But do you find the novelty wearing off? They say in politics that when you get sick of hearing the message, you’re just starting to hear the message. Even so, I’d like more time

with Barty, less time with Mali.

Time for new balls as they say on Rod Laver Arena. Here we go with Pete’s Story, Take Two.

“I’m a husband, a father of three, a weekend gardener, a pretty average footy player and Leader of the South Australian Labor Party. These things alone qualify me to be your next

Premier. But wait, there’s more.

One highlight of my pretty average footy playing career was getting knocked out cold in a match against Black Friars Old Scholars a year ago. My bestie Tom Koutsantonis said getting knocked senseless showed my courage as a leader. Good old Tom, he always finds the right words, somehow.

Where was I?

I’m married and have a young family. Have I mentioned that already? Never mind, it’s good to remind you Premier Steven Marshall isn’t married and his kids have flown the nest.

My only real job was as a Woolies shelf stacker. Then it was off to the Shoppies Union and a golden ticket into Labor’s safest seat, Croydon.

A few weeks ago, I actually got COVID all by myself. What are the chances? It wasn’t a barrel of laughs but it did help remind South Australians that the Libs aren’t keeping us safe from the virus. Every cloud, as they say.

Politicians have a reputation for focusing on the short term. That’s because voters have the attention span of a goldfish. But I’m focused on the long term and a better future for all South Australians, particularly a better future for the 24 South Australians the ALP needs to get elected to form government after March 19.

That’s why my policies on health, jobs, education and environment are about the future.

This is important. Why? Because if we focus on the past, you might ask me about Labor’s

Transforming Health debacle, and whose bright idea it was to shut the Daws Road Repat.

You might ask why we pulled the plug on the Gawler Rail Line Electrification project half way through and are now blaming the Libs for not bringing it in on budget. You might even ask how during 16 years of Labor rule the protection of children in state care was an

unmitigated, shameful disgrace.

No, let’s look to the future and the big picture. Democracy, for instance. I like democracy.

Don’t you? I was shooting the breeze about democracy over a charcoal lamb spit roast in Tom’s backyard only the other day. It’s a real BBQ stopper.

Labor leader Peter Malinauskas playing in one of the lower divisions for the Adelaide Blacks. Picture: Matt Turner

If elected, I’ll ban political donations from unions and business. I want to end the arms race of big spending election campaigns because they’re a threat to democracy.

I know what you’re all thinking? What about Labor’s little “cash for access” boondoggle, for years charging business people big bucks to have an exclusive nosh up with Ministers?

Wasn’t that a threat to democracy? As I explained to the ABC’s David Bevan, that “undermines people’s perception of democracy which in turn undermines democracy”. In other words, yeah, nah, yeah.

Sure, unions will still be free to “privately” blow their members’ hard-earned money on ads bagging the Libs.

And taxpayers will still kick in millions to publicly fund election campaigns. This works out to just over $3 (indexed) for every primary vote. Labor got 343,896 primary votes at the 2018

election. You do the math. You don’t get a choice about coughing up, it’s the L-A-W law.

That’s why I love democracy.

I almost forgot the most important reason you should make me Premier. My family. They raised me with strong personal ethics and taught me the value of hard work.

Steven Marshall’s fine mum and dad did the same for him, too. That makes it a tie-break, I guess. Your serve.”