Let’s hit pause on 2025’s menopause ‘moment’. It’s bigger than a buzzword | Rebecca Whitfield-Baker
Menopause is having its “moment” and apparently I have a big blinking M on my forehead now, writes Rebecca Whitfield-Baker.
Opinion
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I am a winter person, plain and simple; I love walking in the rain and having it so cold my breath creates a gentle fog.
I love the subtle smell of smoke in the air from household fires. I love cheering on my kids at sport, squished underneath a fellow supporter’s umbrella, rain drizzling down on to our faces.
Perhaps it has something to do with being a farmer’s daughter, learning to celebrate from a young age the sound of gentle, winter rain on the roof as crops emerge from the ground?
It takes me back also to my carefree twenties, living and working in Calgary, Canada, where I experienced snow and freezing days under a brilliant blue sky.
Now, aged in my 50s, when the old brain fog threatens to take over at work, there is no better fix than a quick stroll around the block and a blast of fresh air.
A few days ago I headed out to do just this when I was joined by a young colleague, walking to her car.
We were discussing our shared love of the wintry conditions when she hit me with a comment that completely threw me: “It must be really good for your menopause, too, with your hot flushes and stuff?”
Taken aback, I responded that I’d not actually considered the connection, nor was menopause – at that moment – on my mind.
Still, she proceeded to tell me that really I shouldn’t be embarrassed by the fact I was going through menopause (again, I hadn’t mentioned it), nor worry about being “invisible” – until that point I really hadn’t.
“I always say to my mum, it doesn’t matter if other people can’t see you because I do,” this delightfully warm and authentic individual candidly told me.
Bless. Well intended or not, the unexpected conversation shift left me feeling a little, well, old and deflated ... and contemplating my apparent blinking “big M”.
Not so long ago, no one talked about the “M word”, let alone admitted they were of the “change-of-life” age.
But it seems menopause is having a “moment” and everyone is suddenly an expert on it – except, perhaps, for those actually going through it – with perimenopause and menopause becoming something of buzzwords in 2025.
Social media feeds are saturated with supplements and shakes purporting to be a miracle fix for everything from “bloated bellies” to emotional swings, even lapses in intelligence.
A middle-aged colleague tells me she’s recently been quizzed by her 30-something friends who are “terrified of menopause”.
Don’t get me wrong, it is great we are now talking about this phase of life.
The emergence of high-profile advocates such as Hollywood stars Naomi Watts, 56, and Halle Berry, 58, who are willing to use their personal experience to raise awareness of it is powerful.
In the US, author, podcaster and motivational speaker Mel Robbins, 56, who has a following of 28 million, is leading the charge in urging menopause be better understood.
“I am just a woman who is desperately trying to figure out how to make sense of an extraordinarily important topic that until recent years has not been looked at with the scientific rigour that it deserves … (it’s been) like an afterthought,” she says.
“I mean most of the advice that I got when I started to get the thickening and hot flushes … is basically like, well, it’ll take about 10 years and then you will bounce back, that is it.”
Women do need to know they are not alone and that they don’t have to – as the stoic generations of women before them – just “get on with it”, even if for some it remains a deeply personal, private conversation to talk about with trusted friends, family or a GP.
It can be a complex, confusing and challenging time as we try our best to juggle the balls of life and be there for those we love while navigating the odd irrational thought, over-reaction and meltdown. But we are not carbon copies of each other, our experiences will be different; a 60-second Tik Tok “explainer” doesn’t tell the whole – or only – story.
Yes, lack of sleep and irritability are among the raft of pesky symptoms but sometimes we are cranky because we’ve good reason to be; sometimes there are tears because we just need a good cry.
Yes, we need to talk about menopause but we need to consider how we do this – it can’t just be a free for all.
The point is, menopause shouldn’t be used to define or stereotype someone; it’s a stage of life, not the end of life.
And here’s a tip, leave the advice, jokes and self-deprecating references to those in the know – some of us really do just like it cold.
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