Lauren Novak: Instant Family movie tries to show the realities of foster parenting

Imagine taking three new kids out of the state care system and into your home. Instant Family, a new Hollywood comedy, looks at just that — and maybe it’ll inspire SA families to do the same, writes Lauren Novak.

In most films about foster children, they are portrayed as sad orphans or scrappy ratbags.

In cinemas now is a movie that tells a more nuanced story.

Instant Family, starring Australia’s Rose Byrne with on-screen husband Mark Wahlberg, follows a childless couple as they become foster parents to three children.

It’s a Hollywood production, so it’s a bit over the top and glosses over a lot of the finer points of fostering. But it portrays a family experience that hundreds of thousands of Australians have lived and rarely see represented.

In South Australia, more than 3200 children are living with about 1830 registered foster parents or relatives, known as kinship carers. But more than 500 children have to live with paid child-protection workers because there aren’t enough stable homes available.

The number of carers joining the system has stagnated and we desperately need more.

There are hopes the mainstream message of Instant Family might encourage viewers to step up. It’s based on the true story of director Sean Anders and his wife Beth and their decision to adopt three siblings in the US.

A scene from Instant Family.

The system represented in this US family comedy is not quite how it works in SA. For example, once the couple — Ellie and Pete Wagner — decide to give fostering a go, they’re sent to a fair to meet children and write down the names of any they like! In SA, potential foster families can give some indication of the type, or number, of children they’re willing to take in but matches are carefully considered.

The US system is also geared much more towards permanent adoption.

Here in SA, authorities make concerted and prolonged efforts to reunite children with biological parents. Last financial year, just one SA child was adopted by a local family.

Many have long lobbied for that to change and these arguments are being considered by our Government — but we are a long way from any policy change.

In the meantime, the focus here is on encouraging more people to consider taking a child into their home in any way they can.

In Instant Family, Pete and Ellie jump right in the deep end, bringing home a sibling group of three (cue chaos and hilarity). Again, that would be unlikely in SA. But those who are curious could consider starting as emergency or respite carers, taking children for a day, a weekend or a week at a time when they are first removed from their parents or to give other long-term carers a break.

It’s a major life change to become a foster parent and it requires a lot of effort and a thick skin. As the fictional Wagners find, it can be awkward and frustrating getting to know the little strangers who arrive in your life. Children come to the system with past experiences that often prompt difficult (though understandable) behaviours — such as how the Wagners’ foster son Juan cowers when anything is broken, as if expecting reprisal.

But in other ways they are the same as any child — like Lizzie, the Wagners’ eldest, who is a typical teen obsessed with her mobile phone and prone to mood swings and inappropriate fashion choices.

Less prominent in the film are the troubles some carers have with the bureaucracy, rather than the kids. It is an intrusive process, proving you can be trusted to care for a child who has experienced trauma. The Wagners get a pretty easy run from the social workers and (spoiler alert) a typical fairytale ending.

This doesn’t happen for every South Australian who offers a home to a child but hundreds and hundreds of children find their “forever home” because people — like the Wagners, with their spare bedrooms and enthusiasm — are willing to give it a go.

So if you’re aged 25 to 70, married, single, straight or gay, you could help. Maybe just start by buying a movie ticket. It’s not the lottery but it could still change your life.

For more information, phone 1300 2 FOSTER or visit fostercare.sa.gov.au