Lauren Novak: Grim death toll a reminder we must do better on domestic violence

It will take two hours to read the name’s of women who died as a result of violence in 2020. We can’t endure this for another year, writes Lauren Novak.

Lynda Greenwood. Ellie Price. Samr Dawoodi. Erlinda Songcuan.

Do you recognise these names? They are just four of the wives, girlfriends, mothers and daughters who died as a result of violence against women in 2020.

In each case, their husband or ex-partner was charged with murder.

Tomorrow, South Australians will gathering to remember those lost at the third annual Pay Our Respects memorial.

It will take about two harrowing hours to read out 55 names and pay respects to the women who died last year, from a list compiled by the Counting Dead Women project, which tracks “every known death due to violence against women in Australia”.

In 2019, the project recorded 63 deaths. In 2018, the figure was 71.

This grim toll only acknowledges the very worst outcome. There are thousands more women, in South Australia alone, who are physically and mentally scarred or disabled by violence perpetrated largely by men they thought they could trust.

Ellie Price, 26, was found dead in her South Melbourne home on May 4.

2021 Australian of the Year Grace Tame. Picture: NCA NewsWire / Martin Ollman

So how do we make it stop? Because it has to stop. We cannot endure this senseless and preventable waste of life for another year.

And especially not in 2021, when we have named a survivor of sexual violence – Grace Tame – as our Australian of the Year.

You might say the answer is tougher policing, harsher penalties or more crisis shelters for victims. In fact, progress has been made by authorities on these three fronts in recent years, but we’ll never stop the carnage if we don’t get to the root of the problem.

We must change the behaviour of abusive men (the vast majority of perpetrators) and teach women (the vast majority of victims) to recognise the signs of abuse and leave before it’s too late.

Politicians are quick to say that addressing social problems is “everyone’s responsibility”. As long as they’re holding up their end of the bargain, there are definitely roles for every South Australian man and woman here – even those who think it has nothing to do with them.

If you reckon you’re not affected by domestic violence in SA, think again. Given SA Police investigate more than 10,000 related crimes each year and South Australians made more than 15,000 calls to the 1800 RESPECT hotline in 2019-20, the chances are high that you know someone who is a survivor and/or a perpetrator.

Hundreds of millions of your tax dollars are also going towards the enormous cost of police and ambulance officers, crisis housing, counselling hotlines, incarceration and rehabilitation required to address the problem. So you’ve got skin in the game.

In fairness, the current State Government has committed more money and attention to tackling domestic and sexual violence than the sector has seen in decades. The Federal Government has also boosted funding in response to increased risk during COVID-19 isolation.

It feels like there is never enough cash to get on top of the problem but the issue is at least being taken more seriously.

Politicians are closing the legal net on perpetrators – for example, new laws addressing the act of strangulation and allowing police camera evidence to be used in domestic violence cases – but there is plenty more for MPs to debate when Parliament returns from summer break next week.

The Opposition has put up legislation which would toughen penalties for breaching court orders meant to protect family violence victims, and criminalise non-physical abuse, known as coercive control. This includes emotional, psychological and financial abuse.

SA attorney-general Vickie Chapman. Picture: AAP Image/David Mariuz

Attorney-General Vickie Chapman is open to coercive control laws but is monitoring the outcome of a review in NSW. The federal Parliament is also holding an inquiry into domestic and sexual violence.

And there are growing calls for much more funding for programs that aim to change the thinking and behaviour of abusers – to stop it at the start.

The main frustration is how long reforms take. True, these are complex issues, but the COVID pandemic has shown us authorities can move fast when they deem it urgent.

The pandemic of violence against women has been taking more Australian lives for much longer than COVID.

While the politicians work on their end, you can act, too. Don’t turn away because it’s all too grim. Don’t switch off because it doesn’t affect you.

Take a moment to think about what might be happening behind closed doors in your street. Who might need your support? Or is it you that needs to reach out?

There are few more worthy New Year’s resolutions than bringing down this death toll in 2021.

For support, phone 1800 RESPECT.