Keeping up with Kellie Finlayson: I don’t identify as either a survivor or victim

There’s a new word for where I’m at in my stage 4 cancer battle, writes Kellie Finlayson – and it doesn’t involve the words survivor or victim.

Recently I’ve had several keynote and guest speaker presentations, and I’ve found it difficult to introduce myself when it comes to mentioning my diagnosis.

We’re all aware that I haven’t quite tipped over into the “survivor” category throughout the past 2.5 years, but I have also very rarely played the victim.

When listening to others speak, and introducing themselves as a cancer survivor, or talk about loved ones being a victim of cancer, I really struggled with not being able to identify myself as either.

Yes, I am a victim to the disease, but I definitely haven’t let it beat me. Which essentially means I’m surviving? But I’m also not technically a survivor through No Evidence of Disease, Remission or Cure.

So recently I’ve seen my view take a shift. I’m now considering myself – and reintroducing myself as – a stage 4 colorectal cancer thriver.

Kellie Finlayson now describes herself as a cancer “thriver”. Picture: Supplied / JLF

I think this mindset can be adapted into many facets of life, any life obstacle you overcome without a complete solution, I would consider thriving.

This idea was inspired by Jelena Dokic and the recent publicity she’s been doing for her new book, Fearless. I was lucky enough to hear her speak last month and the way she was able to draw in the complete focus of the room to be on her, was simple – she was vulnerable, but she could admit that she was thriving, not just given the circumstances, but her mindset had shifted and she wouldn’t accept anything less than greatness.

Hearing her speak has prompted me to grab my shitty situation and turn it into something so incredible, that although I could play the victim card, and have no sight of the survivor card for the foreseeable future, I could in fact take lead of my life and continue to thrive. In my health, in my personal life and in my professional life.

Thriving goes beyond merely surviving; it involves flourishing and achieving success and fulfilment along the way in various aspects of life. Though I’ll continue to strive for the technicality of the survivor category, in the meantime I’ll continue to thrive in the aspects of my life that I have control over.

Kellie was inspired to label her journey as “thriving” after hearing Jelena Dokic speak. Picture: Michael Klein

Choosing to wake up each day and do something that will better my health, my relationships or my wealth, knowing that the decisions I make now will impact my families lives forever, and simply just choosing life, even when faced with my mortality, is more than they could ever ask for, but it will never be enough for me.

Pushing boundaries, getting out of my comfort zone, trying new things that align with my soul and living a life worth saving my own life for.

One way in which I have chosen to do this, is to be more physically active. I am still able to do these things, so I should do them while I can. Trust me there’s been a few months when I definitely couldn’t, and those days felt like the hardest ones to get through.

In a few weeks’ time, on May 3 and 4, I’ll be participating in the JLF Trek. It not only makes sense for me to support a foundation that I am so heavily involved in, but also to give myself a challenge that I otherwise likely wouldn’t and get my body moving to show others in a similar predicament, that with the right mindset they too could not only participate but thrive while doing so.

If you want to join me in the trek, you can find the registrations on the Jodi Lee Foundation page. Not only will you be bettering yourself, pushing through the discomfort or boundaries that your mind has set, but you’ll be fundraising for an incredible cause.

In short, the Trek is the foundation’s signature event, with more than 270 people participating last year and already more than 170 registrations this year.

If you aren’t able to join in, you can help support my JLF Trek fundraiser here.

It’s a cause understandably close to my heart and I’d love the continued support on my advocacy and awareness journey. Save a life with me!