I love an audience and I’ll go anywhere (and have) to find one | Peter Goers

Too often we think SA is a city state but it is so much more than just Adelaide, writes Peter Goers.

It’s pretty hard to get lost in Two Wells but I did. Now I know Two Wells too well.

Last Sunday, I was en route to Long Plains and hit massive roadworks at the intersection of the main street of Two Wells and the Mallala road. I drove all around Two Wells trying to get out and then the dreaded GPS took me on a huge 10km loop of the back blocks of Two Wells (and I think I found a third well) until I ended back where I started.

Eventually I got on to the Mallala road and wished I hadn’t as it’s in appalling condition. Then I had to take two dirt roads to Long Plains rattling along in my heritage-listed Volvo. Long Plains is a lovely town just 74km from Adelaide and is only serviced by dirt roads.

I was there to see my friends in the Whyte Yarcowie Vaudeville Troupe give their antepenultimate show at the centenary of the much-loved Long Plains Hall.

In 1923 when the hall was opened, Long Plains was accessed only on dirt roads and a century later nothing has changed except that the Adelaide Plains Council clearly gives financial preference to new housing estates. For shame.

In the last 20 years as ABC broadcaster and Sunday Mail columnist I’ve attended more than 500 gigs in rural South Australia.

The day before the Long Plains Hall centenary I was at the centenary of the Sandalwood Hall in the Mallee.

Aren’t I lucky? I loved both events.

Peter Goers at the Bordertown Railway Station. Picture: John Wilson

I rarely say no to a country gig. I just go. I have thus conquered the tyranny of distance throughout the state. I’ve opened art shows in Wilpena and at the grand Peterborough Town Hall.

I once opened a food and wine festival in Naracoorte at lunchtime and appeared at a fundraiser in the Monster Mine in Burra that same night.

I’ve been overwhelmed by the welcome and generosity, kindness and hospitality of country people.

Yearly, I’ve consumed my weight in sausage rolls, egg sandwiches and cream puffs.

I’ve dodged kangaroos, emus, deer, camels, wombats and all manner of reptiles on country roads but did hit a swarm of locusts which was very messy.

Between Port Wakefield at the hummocks of Lochiel, a kookaburra swept down in front of the car, picked up a brown snake from the side of the road and proceeded to bash it to death on my windscreen as I drove along.

I still have nightmares about that.

I’ve used Rex Airlines so often to go to regional areas that the long walk to the Rex departure gate at Adelaide Airport is the only exercise I ever get.

You learn country etiquette.

I was once the only man in a tie at a funeral at Centennial Park and that night at a play at the Bordertown Theatre I was the only man not in a tie.

I’ve opened public toilets in Lock and Mt Gambier, and used every public toilet in every town in SA.

I once opened the Quorn Show from a cart pulled by Clydesdales in the middle of the oval. The microphone failed and the good people of Quorn heard not a word I said which must have been a great relief to them.

In Cleve, en route to Darke Peak in the middle of the Eyre Peninsula, the fly on my only pair of daks broke.

The menswear store was closed but the op shop was open but sadly none of the trousers there fit me – no-one had died recently in my size.

The manager of the op shop took a zip out of trousers she had and replaced my broken zip as I stood in her shop in my Reg Grundy’s.

Peter Goers at Broken Hill’s Broken Heel festival with Hannah Conda and Bebe Gunn.

That’s country hospitality.

I’ve loved it all.

I’ve loved the crucial connection with country people.

I love an audience and, truth be told, I’ll go anywhere (and have) to find one.

Country audiences listen well. It’s all about affirmation. Too often we think SA is a city state but it is so much more than just Adelaide. So go. Explore. Enjoy.

Drive to the Yunta Roadhouse for the best steak sandwich in SA or go to Menindee, 100km from the Silver City of Broken Hill, for the best pizza in the world or go to the beaut chicken shop in Booleroo.

The road never ends to find friends and great tucker.

I’ll be back.