How the Greens plan for 50c public transport fares could be funded | Tom Bowden

A Greens push for a nationwide public transport fare of 50c would save Aussies up to $2400 a year – this is how it could be achieved (if we maintain hope), writes Tom Bowden.

The Greens would like to make catching a bus in Adelaide virtually free.

I went to the orientation morning for all three of my kids’ first days at their new school the other week.

You can stop engraving the “Dad of the Year” trophy – I haven’t been back since …

It was a lovely sunny morning. Kids running everywhere, all ready to ruin their teachers’ year, parents an even split of nervous and excited. Nervous about what the future might hold for their children. Excited to just have the little miracles out of the house.

In the midst of the chaos and bubbles – there was a bubble machine – one mother lost sight of her daughter.

“Hope!” she called out. “Hope!”

Day one and we’ve already lost Hope …

“We’ll find her. She’s the only kid here called Hope.”

Great. She was our only Hope too. Now we’ve lost all Hope …

For what it’s worth, she turned up almost immediately. Kid was sitting on a wall. But it got me thinking about how easy it can be to lose hope. How sometimes this world seems to deliver us nothing but a steady kick to the bollocks – but then something comes along and gives us the strength to endure.

That glimmer of hope came a fortnight ago when I came across this news headline: “50c public transport for all Australians”. As a proud bus user it caught my attention.

Long story short, Greens leader Adam Bandt called on Prime Minister Anthony Albanese to enact a nationwide public transport fare of 50c – a move that would save Australians up to $2400 per year.

It’s working in Queensland, he says – let’s roll it out nationally.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a hairbrained political scheme as much as the next person with a column, but you can bet your arse were this to ever come in at a national level, the government would have to either raise a tax or implement another one to pay for it. Which means your 50c fare won’t be a 50c fare at all.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Here’s how they could fund it:

All those “excess public sector employees” around the country getting paid a combined millions of dollars for doing menial or no work, just to keep them on the books (in SA alone last financial year there were 118 earning potentially more than $11.3m) – move ‘em on. We don’t need them.

Sell all vacant government-owned buildings. We’re in a housing crisis, and in most states these properties have never been worth more.

There’d be millions of dollars’ worth of art hanging in parliament houses and other government buildings around the country. Two words – Facebook Marketplace.

And those pay rises our already well-paid MPs get every year – gone.

“If we drop the pay rises, what kind of person would ever want to be an MP?”

Hopefully one who cares more about making a difference in their community than the figure on their group certificate, Gavin …

All of these suggested measures, however, still won’t come close to the astronomical amount needed to cover ongoing 50c public transport fares for all Australians, so our MPs might have to think outside the box a little.

They could run bake sales across the nation. Car washes. Host some family movie nights where they could sell popcorn they made in the parliament house kitchens. Ooh, hot doughnuts!

Quiz nights are still popular, as are raffles, and I’m pretty sure kids still like discos.

They could do a read-a-thon and get sponsors, sell Entertainment books or those boxes of Cadbury chocolates. Host a fun run or a fete with a dunk tank.

While these measures might keep football and netball clubs afloat, they won’t come close to funding 50c public transport for every Australian. Certainly not in the long term.

So why bother pitching it? Don’t give us another reason to lose hope.

Hell, we’ve only just got her back ...