Emily Olle: North Adelaide’s loo with a view should leave a bad taste in our mouths

We can all have a laugh about the frosted dunny, but North Adelaide’s glass s***box of rental despair should leave a bad taste in our mouths, writes Emily Olle.

Yesterday, while writing about a baffling loo-view rental listed for $420p/w, I was wearing a pair of earrings.

These weren’t your regular, run-of-the-mill earrings.

They were made by a woman who, through no fault of her own, was living in a tent at a caravan park after finding herself caught up in the state’s rental crisis.

To keep herself busy in the freezing nights, she had learnt to craft intricate jewellery from items found in her surroundings.

My pair, which had been generously gifted to me, was adorned with hand-plucked native gumnuts and kookaburra feathers, freshly fallen from a nearby nest.

I wore them as I watched our readers respond to the $420p/w glass s***box with a mix of humour and despair.

Of course, the visual of a romantic dinner for two being interrupted as you desperately attempt to protect your dignity in the frosted kitchen loo while mopping yourself with a soggy lump of paper is, in fact, quite funny.

Where hopes and dreams go to die. Picture: realestate.com.au

But, as I wrote about the glass cube of rental gloom, I couldn’t help but think of my wonderful earrings and how the woman who gave them to me would do anything for a roof over her head – even take up a cursed “open plan” dunny design.

It turned out that people were queuing up to reside in ‘Hell’s Kitchen’ – so much so that the apartment was expected to be tenanted by the end of the week.

With listings down 28.5 per cent in the last 12 months, the loo-view agent said she’d been left heartbroken by people begging for homes.

For many, the rental crisis has reframed how we think of homelessness. It’s young people, parents, families, those fleeing domestic violence. It could be you or me.

Shelter SA CEO Dr Alice Clark said private rentals were now out of reach for almost all low income earners, with people essentially being evicted for no reason other than staggering rent rises.

Adelaide’s holiday parks have been inundated with cries for help from desperate people squeezed out of a tight market.

Ads on Gumtree are offering “affordable long-term accommodation” – in the form of a caravan for hire for $150p/w.

When those struggling to make ends meet can’t even afford to do their business in a glass poo box next to a carpeted kitchen, what does that say about us as a society?

Just like crapping in your kitchen, stories of 120 available Housing Trust homes being sold last year and landlords cranking up rents start to leave a bad taste in your mouth.

Gumtree sellers are now offering a door-to-door caravan service for desperate renters. Picture: Gumtree

The answer is as complex and multifaceted as the internal wrestle I’d imagine the North Adelaide landlord had when deciding to frost just one strip of Dexter’s Lavatory.

Soaring property prices have led to investors selling up big, replaced by owner-occupiers bolstered (until now) by low interest rates.

This has led to record low vacancy rates, which have, in turn, highlighted years of public housing mismanagement as families are crippled by the cost of living crisis.

We need industry, government and business to work hand-in-hand and help those who need it most. People like my earring craftswoman, who have done nothing wrong other than try to survive in a property market that has locked them out.

People like single mothers or fathers, those on disability pensions, carers, families, children and those facing hardship through no fault of their own.

Greens MLC Robert Simms will introduce a Bill to parliament next Wednesday which would see rents capped so landlords are only able to increase prices in line with inflation.

Is this a step in the right direction? Perhaps. But it’s time to cut the crap and come up with a solution – that doesn’t involve a see-through sh****r.