‘Safe space’: Feel The Vibe expo at Coffs Harbour tackling taboos around sex, disability

Bisexual autistic man Ben Thorn is hitting relationship goals with sex education and serenades as he takes part in a northern NSW expo smashing “harmful stereotypes and assumptions”.

Attending events like the Feel The Vibe expo and Mardi Gras festivals in Sydney has helped Ben Thorn understand identities, sexualities and how to have healthy relationships.

For many years, Coffs Harbour man Ben Thorn could only dream of being comfortable with his bisexuality and having a healthy relationship.

It wasn’t that the 24-year-old did not want those things, but like many other people with a disability, he simply lacked sex education and had less opportunity than others.

But now when he sings ‘Perfect’ by Ed Sheeran with his girlfriend at their weekly karaoke date, he does so after embracing his sexuality and investing time in educating himself about healthy intimacy.

Ben Thorn and his partner Kayla Haigh of a year go on a weekly date together.

The loved-up pair, who are both autistic, have been dating for a year and are smitten with each other.

“She’s very beautiful, very pretty and she always tells me I look nice, that I’m hot,” Mr Thorn said.

He would eventually like to live with Ms Haigh and enjoy everything neurotypical people do in a happy and healthy relationship.

Independent living support worker Jacob Gregg with 26-year-old client Ben Thorn.

To help him continue on the path to that dream, the couple will attend Feel The Vibe expo this week in Coffs Harbour – a safe space to break down intimacy barriers for people living with a disability.

Support worker Jacob Gregg said education regarding healthy sexual relationships was so important.

“It’s quite difficult to be able to get that support, for something that is such an extremely natural thing that we all go through,” he said.

Mr Thorn has been to one of the expos before, run by his disability support provider Northcott, and learnt about identities, educational resources and adult products.

Northcott’s clinical sexuality and relationships counsellor Patrick Hukins.

Northcott’s clinical sexuality and relationships counsellor Patrick Hukins said queer people with disabilities often face unique challenges “due to intersecting factors such as disability, gender identity, and sexuality”.

“For many, there’s a sense of isolation or feeling misunderstood within both the disability community and the queer community,” he explained.

“Unfortunately, many individuals with disability, especially those who identify as queer, encounter harmful stereotypes and assumptions.

“One common misconception is that people with disability are asexual, not sexually aware or are not interested in forming romantic or sexual relationships.

For queer clients such as Mr Thorn, these assumptions are even more pronounced, but with access to safe spaces for sex education he can express his sexuality in the same way as people without a disability.

The expo is being held at C.ex Coffs on Thursday, followed by an afterparty.

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Originally published as ‘Safe space’: Feel The Vibe expo at Coffs Harbour tackling taboos around sex, disability