Parents, coaches called to turn down the heat on junior players as teens quit sport

Hyper-competitive coaches and ‘ugly’ parents are pushing teenagers out of junior grassroots sport, prompting calls to turn down the heat on Saturday mornings.

Alexi Tritsaris, who plays football with the Marrickville Red Devils, felt like quitting due to a lack of confidence but her parents encouraged her to keep going. Picture: Julian Andrews.

Hyper-competitive coaches and ‘ugly’ parents are pushing teenagers out of junior grassroots sport and taking the fun out of casual competition, prompting calls to turn down the heat on Saturday mornings.

New research from La Trobe University commissioned by sports beverage brand Gatorade has found coaches who bully young players and place unrealistic expectations on them are a leading factor for teens dropping out of sport.

It comes after The Saturday Telegraph revealed the shocking plague of violence in NSW community sport, woth police called to sports grounds three times a week on average.

The Centre of Sport and Social Impact report found coaches are “central to a player’s confidence in team sport”, and pointed the finger at a ‘win at all costs’ attitude permeating casual and junior sport.

Researchers surveyed 1120 young people aged 13 to 18 and found coaches play the single most significant role in teens’ sporting confidence followed by parents and family, yet 44 per cent of those who play sport have experienced or observed bullying by a coach or teammate.

The LaTrobe Gatorade report includes anecdotes from teens speaking about why they quit sport. Picture: Pam McKay

One female respondent recounted one of the “worst experiences I have had playing a sport I love” when a coach brought her to tears in the middle of the game.

“I was crying on the pitch whilst playing as this coach was yelling at me from the side lines,” she wrote.

“The referee interrupted and gave the coach a yellow card for speaking to one of his own players like that and I was checked up on by the referee.”

Just 13.5 per cent of teens who dropped out had done so by Year 7, rising to nearly 80 per cent by Year 10.

Professor of Sports Psychology Richard Keegan said as players get older the “pressure to win” and be selected for higher grades and representative teams increases, which can be hugely demotivating for those enjoying sport more casually.

“It’s easy to forget that there’s an increasing number of people who don’t really expect to make it to the top and don’t want to,” he said.

Kids’ sport has many benefits outside of winning. Picture: Mark Wilson

“Sport offers kids a whole bunch of wonderful benefits – physical fitness and skills, confidence, communication, leadership, and a friendship group.

“If you’re going to step away from that, you want to do that for really good reasons and not just because it stopped being fun.”

Clinical psychologist and author Judith Locke said mums and dads who expect their children to be amazing at sport and lavish on them undeserved praise, run the risk of developing ‘ugly parent syndrome’ – a phrase commonly used to describe spectators who abuse and demean other children, coaches and referees.

“It starts from good intentions but it turns into bad outcomes very quickly, and uncontained can turn ugly,” she said.

“(Parents’) ego and satisfaction tramples players’ joy.”

Dr Judith Locke, clinical psychologist and author. Picture: Jamie Hanson

When 15-year-old footballer Alexi Tritsaris last year found herself staring down teams that were “stronger, bigger and looked more put together” than her undermanned Marrickville Red Devils squad, the pressure to win became near insurmountable.

“I felt less confidence in myself,” she said.

Alexi Tritsaris (15) and her dad John, who’s happy to give his daughter feedback on her game day performance - but not criticism. Picture: Julian Andrews

But on the brink of quitting, it was a heart-to-heart with teammates that convinced her to stay.

“All the girls on my team felt the same way … so we just helped each other, motivated each other, and even though we were a smaller team it helped a lot,” she said.

Alexi’s dad John Tritsaris said his daughter was lucky to have a “fantastic coach” through that period, and that when he offers feedback on Alexi’s performance, “it’s not to be critical”.

“It’s a lot different from when I grew up – we just went on the field and played – but now the mindset is about strategy,” he said.

“I try to give useful input and not knock her down, because you never get anything positive out of negative input.”

Professor Keegan said parents who are worried about their teenage kids become disengaged should consider offering them the option of switching sports and trying new things.

“Always be led by your teen in terms of what (issues) they want to talk about, and recognise their effort, the teamwork, their commitment – all those other wonderful elements,” he said.

Originally published as Parents, coaches called to turn down the heat on junior players as teens quit sport