How domestic violence affects children who see it happening
Thousands of children across South Australia are living in abusive households. Here’s how growing up in an environment of fear and violence affects the next generation.
- AG: Authorities must address family violence impact on children
- Tougher laws coming to crack down on domestic violence offenders
- Domestic violence campaign targeting disrespect in children launched
DANIELLE* was holding her baby son when she was hit, hard, by her partner.
The assault caused bruising and swelling to the young mother but she was relieved that her baby, gripped tight to her chest, had not been struck.
Danielle believed this meant her child wouldn’t be affected because he was not a direct target of the violence.
But there is mounting evidence that this kind of toxic environment takes its toll, regardless of whether children are physically assaulted or witness harm done to others.
Government data shows almost a third of all children who come in contact with the child protection system have a domestic violence-related concern raised about them with authorities by the age of five.
Last week, state parliament was told that children are present in about 60 per cent of cases when SA Police attend violence incidents.
And the state’s peak women’s safety service says it sees more than 2000 children a year who are exposed to violence or threats of harm at home.
In a bid to uncover the largely hidden toll, Attorney-General Vickie Chapman recently identified “passive” domestic abuse – where children see or hear their parents attack each other physically or emotionally – as “perhaps the biggest area of reform” authorities must next address to curb family violence.
The State Government has committed almost $1 million to new research to examine the best ways to intervene earlier with at-risk families, but there is already a solid body of work showing how South Australian children are suffering in silence.
UniSA senior lecturer Dr Fiona Buchanan interviewed mothers subjected to violence by their partners and adults who had grown up in violent homes.
She said mothers were three times more likely to be experiencing domestic violence, largely because they found it more difficult to leave a relationship when children were involved.
“Sometimes they stay to protect their baby,” Dr Buchanan told a forum held by the Adelaide branch of Soroptimist International as she recounted the experiences of 13 mothers who participated in her study.
“There were threats to kill the children if the mothers left, there were threats that they’d never see the baby again.”
While women could find it difficult to leave an abusive relationship they attempted to protect their children “in all sorts of ways that we don’t see or know about”, Dr Buchanan said.
These ranged from acting as a physical barrier to attacks to sending children to sleep at a friend’s house to avoid a drunken father or keeping them out of the house with sporting and social commitments. One mother told her children if violence erupted they should run to the neighbours who had been forewarned to call police.
International and Australian research has found that children who witness violence at home are more likely to develop emotional or behavioural difficulties.
Other effects can include disturbed sleep, difficulty concentrating, low self-esteem, hypervigilance, feeling guilty or embarrassed about their family and fantasising about a “normal” home life.
Natalie Patmore, who manages Centacare’s Family Preservation Service, said children as young as a few months old could show symptoms.
“There are the children that have learned to be quiet because they’re in that state of fear. They stop talking, they stop babbling (as babies),” she said.
“These traits can emerge very early on and have profound impacts on speech development.”
Delays in walking can indicate “children who are a bit scared to explore their environment” because they feel it is unsafe.
Some children engage in “high risk-taking behaviours” while others present as “very shy, very quiet, very compliant”.
All this highlighted the need for early intervention and support programs for at-risk families and therapy for children, Ms Patmore said.
Academics are working with the Child Protection Department to develop policies to better assess and manage domestic violence in homes where children are at risk.
Public awareness campaigns are empowering women to leave violent relationships and the State Government funds programs to try to change the behaviour of abusive men.
In these courses, run by the Correctional Services Department, facilitators use images drawn by children to drive home how affected they are by abuse.
Greg Fuller, who oversees programs targeted at men who aren’t in prison, said the images were “incredibly graphic and challenging” and they cut through to often dismissive men.
“There’s one of a man holding a mother off the ground, by her hair, and there’s broken bottles on the ground,” he said.
“There’s ones with needles, the mother pleading ‘don’t hit me’, the child saying ‘leave her alone’.”
Dr Buchanan found that children who step in to try to stop the violence often “felt empowered” while others would help their mother to keep the peace so their father would have no excuse for an outburst.
Despite their fathers being responsible for the violence, many grew up to resent their mothers for remaining in the relationship.
“She let it happen and then she let it happen again,” one participant told Dr Buchanan.
“It was her decision to stay there,” another said.
Some children “sided with their father” or “made excuses” for them and some fathers even “get their children to join in abusing their mothers verbally”.
“But nobody is actually questioning why their father or stepfather didn’t stop (the violence),” Dr Buchanan said.
She encouraged child protection authorities, who “currently focus on a mother’s deficiencies”, to consider the broader picture.
Ms Patmore, whose service works to keep families together, agreed there was “scope to work with domestic violence perpetrators so that children can remain safely in the home”.
*Danielle is a pseudonym to protect the womAn’s identity.
For support phone 1800 RESPECT or the DV Crisis Line on 1800 800 098.