Mile Die Club and Salty Dolls to face off in 2019 Adelaide Roller Derby grand final
Ankle Grinder says her Mile Die Club will have a crushing victory, while Gnome Chompsky’s Salty Dolls are ready as they get set for the Adelaide Roller Derby grand final this Saturday.
Ankle Grinder reckons her Mile Die Club will soar to a crushing victory, while Gnome Chompsky won’t hear about her Salty Dolls being tamed when the Adelaide Roller Derby grand final hits the boards at the Adelaide Showground at Wayville this Saturday.
The all-female, full-contact sport, is a sports writer’s paradise where puns, cliches, double meanings and non-stop theatrics sometimes override the actual competition.
Ankle Grinder, or Grinder, or even Issy in her daytime job as a social worker, is the longest serving member of the competition, which rolled out in 2007.
Grinder’s career began in 2009 but was nearly over before it had started when she broke her ankle in her first year, hence her club name.
“When I broke my ankle the thing I missed the most was the competition and roller derby so I got myself back,’’ Grinder says.
“We all train together as a league and know each other but mainly our nicknames.
“When we compete we are always thinking of any little tricks we can come up with.
“The Salties are the only team to have beaten us this year and they did beat us in the 2016 and 17 grand finals before we won last year.
“They ripped it away from us then so the saying is do unto them as they did unto us. We can handle the turbulence.’’
Salty Dolls’ Gnome Chompsky – not be confused with American philosopher Noam Chomsky – was equally dismissive of her opposition.
“We have a proud tradition of winning. It’s going to be intense and the Dies (Mile Die) are going to have a lot of pressure put on them,’’ Gnome, 27, also a social worker, says.
“No matter how rough the seas are we can always sail the ship.’’
Gnome, likely to use her prowess as a jammer (scorer) or pivot, added that if the unthinkable happened and her team lost they would aim to win the skate out – a sort of dance routine held before the main action.
Neither team would provide any players to watch in the final but intense research revealed that Ghoulfriend, Grim Rhi-Purr and Strawberry Smashmouth for the Salties and Shirley Temper, Sin and Tonic, Mad Sqweelz Milz and even H.R.Rufunstuff for the Dies, could be worth keeping an eye on.
The Road Train Rollers and Wild Hearses will lock rollers in the early game from 4.45pm to decide third place.
A promotional session, billed as ADRD Fresh Meat Info Night, will be held on Wednesday, August 14 at the Wheatsheaf Hotel, George St, Thebarton, between 6pm and 8pm for intending skaters, referees, commentators and supporters.