Greenacres Football Club goal umpire Dave Crispin entertaining crowds from between the big sticks
He’s bringing back the retro white hat and jacket, does a thumbs up for goals and waves a set of flags on chopsticks. It’s safe to say Dave Crispin is unlike any other goal umpire.
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If you head to Edward Smith Reserve on a Saturday afternoon through winter, chances are you’re in for some entertainment – and not always because of the players.
Meet Dave Crispin, local footy’s most entertaining goal umpire.
The man between the sticks, known as “Crispo”, can be found at Greenacres Football Club games each Saturday in his throwback white coat and hat.
His antics in the middle of the goalposts entertain the crowd – sometimes more than the football itself.
They range from Groucho Marx impressions to Monty Python-style silly walks as well as five different sets of flags at every match.
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A pair of big flags – cut-down sheets attached to broomsticks – and small flags supported by chopsticks are mainstays in the repertoire.
As for the traditional pointed fingers for a goal or behind, he prefers a thumbs-up.
Crispin says he began goal umpiring at Greenacres the year “the Howard government was still in power and Makybe Diva won a third Melbourne Cup” – 2005 for those wondering.
When the previous goal umpire hung up his flags, he put up his hand.
“It wasn’t too long before I became bored and thought I should jazz it up a little,” Crispin, of Prospect, says.
“It was just some strange antics to begin with, then a couple of years later I thought I should really have some fun with it.
“There was a resistance from the field umpires at first.
“I would agree with them but then just continue it anyway, so they just got used to it.
“The audience likes it, the crowd likes it.”
But some opposition teams have not seen the funny side of it: “They take their football very seriously and were not very appreciative of it at all. I think they thought ‘you’re bringing the game into disrepute’.”
Crispin’s antics have been much needed in recent seasons as Greenacres went through tough times on field, including a 659-day losing streak.
But the Dragons’ fortunes turned in 2019 as they broke the drought and went on to win nine games in division seven and make an elimination final.
So, will Crispin be back next year, in his retro outfit and waving his wacky flags?
Thumbs-up to that.
patrick.keam@news.com.au