Blind, elderly and caring for a wife with dementia, this community cafe is turning a life around

Dementia and aging are hard enough to cope with, but this little cafe is making a big difference for a group of South Australians.

Not so long ago, John Davies was driving a truck for a living.

Now the road trips are long gone, replaced by a significantly more important job - caring for his wife who has late stage dementia.

The 74-year-old lost his vision some 15 years ago so looking after Gail has been made even harder.

Mr Davies said Gail was diagnosed five years ago, but signs appeared much earlier.

“It creeps up, you think it’s forgetfulness or obstinacy and mistakes, but then you come to realise there’s something wrong with the other person,” he said.

Over the past two years, Mr and Mrs Davies have come to rely on the companionship and socialising opportunities offered by the little community cafe with a massive heart.

The City of Tea Tree Gully’s dementia cafe in Surrey Downs has since given the pair the chance to meet other people dealing with dementia.

John and Gail Davies regularly visited the Tea Tree Gully Council's dementia cafe before Gail was placed into full time care. Picture: Supplied

Dementia cafés are popping up around the country.

The Tea Tree Gully dementia cafe is hosted monthly by the council’s Active Ageing team in Surrey Downs.

“Because some of the couples are ahead of us in the progression of dementia and some are following us, the people who have already been there can give us advice and talk to us, we in turn can talk to the people who are just beginning their experience,” Mr Davies said.

Mrs Davies has recently gone into full-time care, but Mr Davies remains her main social support and visits her daily.

“When I go into the nursing home, she smiles and she’s happy to see me, but after that she’s just very quiet, if you try to talk to her or show her something, her attention flies off in the wind, it’s really hard to accept,” he said.

Mr Davies continues to seek solace at the dementia cafe where he helps other members.

“I do plan to bring Gail back soon once the cafe, begins to operate as usual, it was all up in the air because of Covid-19,” Mr Davies said.

Social participation and well-being coordinator Natalie Thorne said the dementia cafe was a place where carers of people living with dementia can share experiences and learn about support services available to them.

“We started with three or four couples and had close to 40 couples registered within a year,” Ms Thorne said.

Guests at the dementia cafe hosted by the City of Tea Tree Gully’s Active Ageing Team at the John G Tilley Centre, Surrey Downs. Picture: Supplied

“After a diagnosis of dementia, people can lose their connections, a lot of people don’t know how to manage or support someone going through this,” Ms Thorne said.

“There is an activity program running at the cafe too - it’s really a lot of fun.”

Dementia is the term used to describe the symptoms of a large group of illnesses that cause a progressive decline in a person’s functioning, including Alzheimer’s disease.

There are an estimated 40,300 people with dementia in South Australia with the illness being the second leading cause of death across Australia and the leading cause of death for women.

Dementia SA Client Services acting state manager Lynn Field said cafes were extremely important for dementia sufferers and their loved ones.

“Cafes give people with a diagnosis of dementia and their care partners the opportunity to interact socially,” Ms Field said.

“The atmosphere is calm and non-judgemental, allowing participants to build social skills, independence and well-being by sharing positive experiences, building social connections with people experiencing similar circumstances and providing a regular connection with skilled staff who can connect to services if necessary.”

More information about the Tea Tree Gully dementia cafe can be found at the council’s website.