‘I want to make a stand’: Male victim of child sexual abuse confronts the woman who ‘stole’ his life

A male victim has confronted the older woman who ‘stole’ his life after subjecting him to years of sexual abuse, including using their newborn baby to manipulate him, a court has heard.

A man who was sexually assaulted as a 14-year-old boy by a woman who was twice his age has confronted his abuser, saying she manipulated him and robbed him of his childhood.

The Riverland woman, 48, fronted the Mount Gambier District Court after she pleaded guilty to historic child sexual abuse charges, which according to court documents occurred repeatedly between 1999 and 2003.

The court heard the woman, who cannot be identified to protect the identity of her victim, was a family friend of the man’s father and came to stay at their South East farm.

Prosecutor Ben Sturm read out the man’s victim impact statement and described how “controlling” the woman had been, after starting a sexual relationship with him at just 14.

A male victim of child sexual abuse has spoken up about how a woman twice his age ‘stole’ his life. Picture: Getty Images

“When I was 15 she fell pregnant — I told her I was not ready to be a dad,” he said.

“How can a child raise a child? — it wasn’t fair.”

The man said he lived in fear of his father finding out about the sexual relationship and spiralled into a dark depression when he became a father himself.

“I was told it was my fault, I caused it all, I was to blame,” he said.

“Something no one knows, is that for the first six months of (my daughter’s) life I had contemplated suicide.

“I was broken and damaged. I had my choices taken away and was not in control of my own life.”

The woman pleaded guilty to maintaining an unlawful sexual relationship with a child at an earlier court appearance.

In his victim impact statement, the man said the defendant used his own child against him — making him spend time with her or he would not have access to his daughter.

The man said the woman had “exploited” him into giving her a second child so she could continue to receive “government payments”, without Centrelink making her look for another job, the court heard.

“She has stolen most of my life,” the man said.

“I want to make a stand, to show not only my children, but all children, adults, everybody — this is not okay.

“You cannot tell a child that it will be fine if no one finds out and that it will be our little secret.”

The woman’s defence lawyer James Noblet told the court at the time of the relationship the woman had very low self worth and an issue with binge drinking.

The court heard the defendant, who has several children from different partners, was currently looking after a young child who was struggling in school.

Mr Noblet said the woman’s current partner lived with a disability and was reliant on government support, asking the court to show leniency.

“Her decision to become involved with (the victim) was born out of the low self esteem, her depression and her alcohol abuse,” Mr Noblet said.

“She’s not a risk to the community.”

The Riverland woman will appear in the Adelaide District Court later this month for sentencing.