Craig Cook: No wee debate as Mitcham Council gets bogged down in toilet talk

There is no better example of the dilatory nature of the new Mitcham Council than the almost-hour-long debate last week over a toilet. Bogged down just doesn’t cover it, writes Craig Cook.

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There is no better example of the dilatory nature of the new Mitcham Council than the almost hour-long debate in the chamber last week over a toilet.

Bogged down just does not cover it.

Councillor Karen Hockley first proposed a lavatory for Waite Street Reserve, Blackwood, in 2017.

Back then, and before the motion was lost, she presented a petition of 800 names calling for the new loo.

That petition was started by Blackwood resident and local business owner Heather Holmes-Ross.

Move on 12 months, and Dr Holmes-Ross is now Mitcham Mayor – and that is perhaps the reason, other than her clear view of the urgent need, Cr Hockley considered it was safe to push for the toilet again.

Mitcham councillor Karen Hockley has been pushing for a public toilet in Waite Street Reserve for almost two years. Picutre: AAP/Emma Brasier

Mitcham Mayor Heather Holmes-Ross led a petition calling for a toilet in the Blackwood park before she was elected to the council. Picture: Naomi Jellicoe

At a cost of $120,000 to install and a recurrent cost of $25,000 to maintain, this is no small financial matter.

In passionate support of her motion to have the toilet built in time for the 2019 Blackwood Christmas Pageant, Cr Hockley launched a dissertation on the inconvenience of incontinence.

She argued this was a gender issue, with 37 per cent of women but only 13 per cent of men likely to suffer from “leakage”.

At this comment, Cr Dave Munro called a point of order, poo-pooing the information on the basis of “relevance”.

His objection was upheld by the Mayor.

Cr Darren Kruse seconded the motion for a toilet, detailing a very sad tale of a man whose humiliation at soiling himself for the lack of toilet at the reserve led to him spending his dying days fearing to leave home.

The emotional heart-tug was to no avail.

What followed was predominantly a clear indication of the hills/plains divide that adds to Mitcham’s often interminable conversations.

We were told two thirds of Mitcham’s funds come from the plains, but two thirds of all funding demands come from the hills.

The public toilet debate has lasted almost two years.

During spirited and heated interaction, it was said members were at various times disrespectful, culturally inappropriate, had breached the code of conduct and, perhaps most controversially, that anyone thinking there would be $18 million for a redevelopment of Blackwood’s heart any time soon was “living in a dream world”.

The best line was that there is no income return on a toilet, unless “you make people spend a penny”.

At one stage, Cr Stephen Fisher used the phrase “water torture” – which he was forced to withdraw. But, in truth, it is a strange kind of torture listening to this.

At least one councillor does not support proceedings being recorded so that ratepayers do not discover just how much procedural constipation their council is suffering.

Mitcham has two full council meetings a month and spends a minimum of seven hours spectacularly failing to complete its agenda.

Down the road, Unley, with one meeting a month, has spent less than two hours per meeting so far this year wrapping up all non-confidential business.

Even Mitcham councillors want to know how this can be.

Well, little things count a lot, and starting a 7pm meeting, after an evidently spicy hot chicken dinner and more ratepayers money down the toilet, six minutes late does not help punctuality.

Neither does shuffling back to chamber eight minutes after the agreed period of resumption from a toilet break.

But what really drags down debate at Mitcham is the verbal diarrhoea of some members and their compulsion to speak on every matter – you know who you are.

It would not chain democracy to insist speakers only have three minutes, not five, to speak on matters.

There was no flush of success for Cr Hockley and her toilet plan last week – her motion was lost 8:5, her hopes blocked and, for now, her plans are down the pan.

Currently in Mitcham, WC stands for “waffle council”.