Miles Kemp: I survived five hours of Adelaide City Council bickering and blather, as councillors debated everything except the big-ticket item

An excruciating five hour council meeting that dwelled on few topics of interest to the city, or the state, just proves that local government in SA is broken, writes Miles Kemp.

Adelaide’s capital city council is like a dilettante blowhard version of a school debating club, but unlike the school kids, considers few topics of any interest to the city or state beyond the CBD and one suburb it serves.

Presented with a golden opportunity to be relevant on Tuesday night the council failed spectacularly.

Lord Mayor Sandy Verschoor used her powers to twice reject councillor appeals to bring on early the main topic of interest – support for a $662m state government arena in the city.

Unlike the intense interest from the rest of Adelaide, this was apparently the least urgent topic for the council to consider, and became final debating point of a five and a half-hour meeting. Political result; less media, less scrutiny, less eyes on an embarrassing backflip and an anti-arena policy backed with the Lord Mayor’s surprise casting vote only two weeks earlier.

Many people around Adelaide began watching a live stream of the Adelaide City Council’s crucial meeting at 5:30pm on Tuesday night.

Via The Advertiser they knew on Tuesday morning councillors in favour of the city arena had the numbers six to five to win a council backflip and support the project.

A child could have done the maths. One councillor, an arena advocate, told all in the know he no longer had a conflict of interest and would vote for it.

The October meeting’s tied vote (the deadlock forcing the Lord Mayor to use her vote to oppose the project) had become six votes to five.

But as the hours of the live internet stream dragged on, many who may have been interested could have been forgiven for going to bed, or even put to sleep at their computer.

A vote was finally brought on at 11:00pm.

Here are some of the issues considered more important to South Australia’s capital city council than a $662m development.

Halloween

Everyone loves Halloween right? No, the council required a lengthy debate about whether it does or not. Councillor Alexander Hyde is one opponent: “I don’t buy it. It is making our kids fat”. Councillor Anne Moran argues it is dangerous for kids on the street and would rather see more money spent on Christmas and Easter. Councillor Arman Abrahimzadeh doesn’t partake, but is keen for council to state the bloody obvious, albeit ten days after the event, and support the joy it brings to the city. The council now supports Halloween and will help organise it next year.

Pedestrian crossing

A city childcare centre badly needs a pedestrian crossing. Easy right? Bunnings could help with the paint. No. Ten years after it first lobbied for action, the council in July finally funded the project. How long will it take to paint? Another year. Not good enough says Ms Moran, it should only take a few weeks, but her motion to speed things up ends in withdrawal by her.

Facial recognition technology

The technology is becoming ubiquitous, and is already in pubs identifying problem gamblers. No, argues Councillor Phillip Martin. The system in the city must only be used when state parliament passes laws. Others point out the technology can’t be used until then anyway. End of story. Motion passed anyway.

The great cooking oil scandal

Chinatown traders were to be given a slap on the wrist for disposing of their waste in a mall drain, staining $4m of recently-laid pavers. Mr Martin also wants to give council workers a pat on the back for doing their job, but only after the destruction. Easy. But the simple becomes another bitterly divisive issue. Did council workers witness this? How many traders did it? Is there CCTV footage? How do we even know it was cooking oil? Nobody seems to know the full story. In the end, down the drain was another half an hour of the viewers’ time. Motion fails.

The great disrespect debate

Was Mr Martin disrespectful when he appeared on radio to discuss the health problems which had caused the former CEO Mark Goldstone to take extended leave for four months this year and then resign? Interested? You should be, you spent thousands on lawyers to find out. Despite the ratepayers’ right to know, and despite them already knowing before the radio interview it was “sick leave”, apparently it was rude, and Mr Martin is hauled over the coals. Report accepted.

Secret councillor business

A gaggle of issues is considered too interesting to the public, or too secret, and the meeting closes the webcast while the debates continue. Issues include the Appointment of Board Members to Adelaide Central Market Authority. High level sensitive stuff? Another secret discussion, ironically, is about communication. True story, the Adelaide Telecommunications SmartHub.

Lord Mayor Sandy Verschoor during an Adelaide City Council meeting in April. Picture: Brenton Edwards

The work of the Lord Mayor

As those interested in the arena issue continue to wait, the attendance of the Lord Mayor at meetings is then reported on. But the relevant people already know about this. Why? Well, she was there.

Let’s leave the LGA

Ms Moran, wearily, after many previous attempts, puts another motion for council to leave the Local Government Association, which collects millions from South Australian ratepayers each year to run lots of … well, things. Ms Moran fails again, despite pointing out the conflict between the council-funded LGA insurance scheme acting against ratepayers over issues such as golf balls from the council-run course damaging cars.

City cycling paths

Council debated for almost five years how it could spend $3m of someone else’s money (state government funding) on a cycle path through the city. It couldn’t work out how to do it and gave up in March this year. But now we will have the debate all over again thanks to Deputy Mayor Mary Couros winning a vote to restart the debate with a new cycling strategy.

Climate change

Something must be done. Every well-read person agrees, surely? No. Despite having its own extensive efforts to save the planet, Council couldn’t agree on supporting The Advertiser’s efforts to raise awareness. Motion lost.

Communist China

Not satisfied with local issues, as the night wears on, the council branches out to global concerns. Surely the council could find room to support the city’s tiny Hong Kong Cultural Association in its battle with the Oz Asia Festival, which is claimed to have axed its participation on political grounds in support of the behemoth mainland Communist regime? Debate ensues about whether to force non-discrimination for people using council owned property. Who knew this group of Adelaideans could not agree on a topic nobody has agreed on since Generalissimo Chiang Kai-shek failed to stop the Communist Long March in 1935? Motion lost.

The new progress pride flag, supported by Adelaide City Council

The new rainbow flag

It would be hard in 2021 to find a strong argument against the rainbow gay pride flag, one would think. Fear not, Adelaide council has found a way. It should be replaced by the Pride Progress Flag, Councillor Keiran Snape argues. Colours on the new flag mean it is inclusive of Indigenous people, and the minorities within what the public simply see as the “gay community”. The council decides to back the flag, but myriad issues mean the flag won’t become a permanent year-round fixture.

Fashion choices

Can’t work out what clothes to buy in the mall? Believe it or not, the council’s job, and ratepayer money, is to set up a booth to help advise you where and what you should buy according to your style.

The verdict

I have been watching council meetings as a journalist on and off since 1997. Making council meetings immeasurably worse has been the advent of the six-member Team Adelaide faction, and following this the rival faction nobody complains about, “the independents” with up to five members. Council is now based almost entirely on bipolar opposition.

Rivals seize on every opportunity to score a worthless point in a council which almost always will vote along the two faction lines which divide it. The six-votes-to-five outcome of the arena vote was known by everyone in council at least 24 hours in advance. Dysfunction and dithering meant those interested had to wait five-and-a-half hours to be gifted the knowledge by the debating club.

It was hour upon hour of torturous torment, and debate not worthy of any council proud of the name. Looking back at my notes I see my face finally slumped into my hands, emoji-like, at 9.50pm, when a point of order was interrupted with another point of order and the question; “Is this really a point of order”.

I would say “sigh” but I think I let out a small moan at this point.

Local government is broken in South Australia. Nobody at the higher levels of government dares try to fix it. The last time reform was tried, a cap on council rates, the sector spent hundreds of thousands in ratepayer money to successfully campaign against the Liberal Party and thus against the financial interests of ratepayers.

The capital city council is one in name only, is broken and always will be, as long as it represents only a few business owners and one tiny suburb of residents.