What The White Lotus teaches us about hotel etiquette

Think the bartender can’t see you as you pash that person you just met? Or hasn’t noticed you’re on your third pre-dinner cocktail? Think again, travel friends.

Ever wondered what hotel staff think of you? Fans of The White Lotus get a clue as season two, episode five, reveals more poor behaviour on the part of the mega-rich guests at the resort. (Maybe don't read on if you're yet to see this particular episode).

Think the bartender can’t see you as you pash that person you just met? Or hasn’t noticed you’re on your third pre-dinner cocktail? Think again, travel friends.

The action and guests of The White Lotus heats right up, with Albie (Adam DiMarco) finding “true love” with Lucia (Simona Tabasco) and his father, Dominic, (Michael Imperioli) looking on in dismay, particularly because he’s footing the bill. Meanwhile, Portia (Haley Lu Richardson) wishes Albie “a nice life”, as they acknowledge the different roads they’re travelling on and she heads off to Palermo with Tanya (Jennifer Coolidge) in a direction neither of them - or us, frankly, could have anticipated.

It goes without saying: always treat the hotel staff with respect.

For anyone who hasn’t tuned in yet to season two, this time the drama takes place in Sicily, in the real-life Four Seasons hotel San Domenico Palace, Taormina. The location may have changed, but the guests’ turmoil has not. So, for anyone booking their next getaway, here’s your Lotus List of hotel etiquette:

Remember cocktails don’t make you invisible

“Do you think I’m oblivious,” Tanya asks Portia, in this episode and the same could be said for the hotel staff. Shed your inhibitions on holiday, not your dignity. You may have lost count of the rounds you’ve ordered, but the bartender hasn’t. And while that espresso martini might be making you feel magic, it hasn’t given you a cloak of invisibility – the staff can see you fumbling to open the door, stumbling down the stairs, or kissing strangers. Like your hangover, they will be there to greet you tomorrow. Similarly, if you are going to have a wild night out with someone called Molly (we had to Google it), like Cameron (Theo James) and Ethan (Will Sharpe), remember the hotel staff clocked it, even if your wife didn’t.

Keep an eye on the number of cocktails you're downing. Image: The White Lotus

Don’t do a runner

In episode five, Portia and Jack (Leo Woodall) do a runner from a restaurant in Palermo, without paying and hide down an alleyway to escape the angry owner. Whilst they think their escapade means they have giant (Arancini) balls, it’s not in the least funny for anyone running a business… and presumably, by episode six, Portia will most definitely not be thinking Bob, or Quentin, is your uncle.  

Resist chatting up the staff

Trust us, hotel staff the world over are not secretly enchanted with your ability to say bula/buongiorno/bonjour. This makes you neither bilingual, or irresistible. The nice receptionist is being friendly because it’s their job. In episode five, a drunk Harper (Aubrey Plaza) flirts with the waiter, asking his name, telling him to give the wine “a little twirl” and speaking Italian. He just wants to pour it, lady.

Doing a runner is the lowest of the lows. Image: The White Lotus

Or be rude to them

It seems obvious, but there is never any need to be rude to hotel staff. It might get you a discount, but what else is it going to deliver? Did we learn nothing from season one? Lose your head over the Pineapple Suite and someone might end up doing just that… In loving memory of Armond.

The White Lotus 2 is on Foxtel and Binge, Mondays

Originally published as What The White Lotus teaches us about hotel etiquette