The science of love: UniSA’s expert in personality psychology Dr Phil Kavanagh unpacks the truth

For Valentine’s Day, a leading academic unpacks the latest research on love and gives his verdict on popular notions, including “that opposites attract”.

Personality has lost out to physical attributes in a new national study on what attracts one person to another but according to a leading academic the result is driven by science, not social media.

UniSA’s Associate Professor Phil Kavanagh, an expert in personality and evolutionary psychology, says new research on matters of the heart is constantly emerging.

“There is a huge science to love and attraction, intimacy and mating, short term and long term relationships (and much of it is at a) subtle, unconscious level,” he said.

“As an example, we all perspire and have our own body odour and there is much research that shows people who have the least common genetic material often rate each other’s smells as most preferable.”

On the eve of Valentine’s Day, Dr Kavanagh unpacks the latest research as well as gives his verdict – as fact or fiction – of popular notions on love, including “that opposites attract”.

Research firm Lonergan surveyed more than 1150 adult Australians about what attracted them most about someone, in a romantic sense.

Thirty three per cent of respondents said they were attracted to “a cheeky smile”, almost 40 per cent said eyes were a major feature of attraction while just three per cent rated personality.

Dr Kavanagh said he wasn’t surprised by the result when it was considered in the context of an initial attraction.

“Attraction is a multifaceted thing but in terms of the physical attraction aspect, it is reasonably general around the world – people generally go for body and facial symmetry … symmetry is a marker of health and health is synonymous with being attractive.”

However, for a relationship to blossom, common ground beyond an initial attraction was needed, he said.

“Things such as personality, warmth, trustworthiness … someone could be a really attractive person but not be very nice,” Dr Kavanagh said.

“You are not going to form a relationship with someone you don’t have any shared interests, hobbies or beliefs with.”

And what of those opinions on matters of the heart?

Opposites attract.

“I don’t think opposites do attract, it is just one of those sayings … you might have complementary aspects, so someone who is a little shy might work well with a partner that is a little more outgoing,” Dr Kavanagh said.

“We tend to select mates who are similar to us in number of different traits, if you are a ‘7 out of 10’ in terms of attractiveness, chances are your mate will be somewhere between a ‘6 and 8’ … if you are really smart, there’s a good chance your partner will have high level of intellect as well.”

Love at first sight?

“Potentially it’s possible, if you think of that initial attraction, you can be attracted to someone and then you talk to them and find they are a very nice person as well … there has to be something that drew you to the other person,” Dr Kavanagh said.

Everyone has a soulmate.

“When someone considers someone to be a soulmate they are probably matched on a number of factors – a physical attraction, a strong connection in terms of moral and ethics, values and beliefs … it is probably that you just manage to align through luck of the draw,” Dr Kavanagh said.

Sunday Dech and girlfriend Charlotte Foo. Picture: Tom Huntley

A true romance

To Adelaide 36ers’ new guard Sunday Dech and girlfriend Charlotte Foo, the statistics and science around love mean little.

They just know life is sweeter with each other in it or, as Dech says, when he is with his girlfriend of two years, he feels he “is home”.

“Love is the person you want to go home to, the person you feel safest and most comfortable with … to me, love in a word is ‘Charlotte’,” said the 26-year-old former Illawarra Hawks and Perth Wildcats player, who moved to Perth from Ethopia when he was six.

“It’s just being able to share life experiences together, the joys and the hardships of life, that is what love is,

“I just love how she has got a really big heart, she is friendly and kind and just loves helping people out … she’d give her shirt off her back if someone needed it.”

Perth-born Charlotte, 23, a law student who met Dech through mutual friends at a music festival, said to her love is “intimacy wrapped in a best friend”.

“I can do anything and everything with (Dech), talk to him about everything,” she said.

“I love his drive, he is very dedicated, once he puts his mind to something there is no getting him off it and that rubs off on me … he pushes me to do better as well, in all aspects of life.

“We are polar opposites, I am a people person and love going out and being busy all the time, (Dech) likes staying at home, not seeing anyone and just watching movies on the couch but but we don’t clash in any way, we respect each other’s interests.”

And the young couple, who recently bought a house in Adelaide, have plenty of love leftover for South Australia as well.

“Adelaide has been awesome, I’ve just got my first proper job as a law clerk (at Juncken Manfield Lawyers), everyone has been very welcoming to us and willing to help out,” Charlotte said.

“We have felt so comfortable and relaxed here, it reminds us of home … we are planning on setting up for a long time,” Dech added.