A sex historian reveals the 3 biggest bedroom taboos in 2024

We still have a long way to go

While our attitudes to sex and intimacy have undergone immense transformation and growth throughout history, sex historian Dr Esmé Louise James says we still have a long way to go. 

A decade ago, there were very few spaces in mainstream media where you could find an honest conversation about sex – aside from on Body+Soul of course. 

But 10 years later, and we’re talking about sex more than ever before – you only need to look at the Body+Soul 2024 Sex Census to see just how much times have changed. 

Dr Esmé Louise James has built a career on researching this area, whether that’s unpacking 18th-century erotica in a lengthy thesis or breaking down the intricacies of our sex lives in viral TikToks. 

“It's really wonderful to see that women that are coming onto the scene [these days] are able to talk about sex and a range of other things without suddenly being pigeonholed and kind of stigmatized,” Dr Esme told the Healthy-Ish podcast. 

“There's nothing new under the sun… Every time I see our conversations now, you know, like, is the new generation just these kinky monsters? I think, no, we're doing it all, we've been trying to do it since ancient times, and now we just have silicone, you know?”

Sex positivity and research aside, there are a few old-school taboos that still prevail. Dr Esme joined Felicity Harley on the Healthy-Ish podcast to sort fact from fiction when it comes to bedroom fallacies. 

Sex positivity and research aside, there are a few old-school taboos that still prevail.

#1. Men are inherently more interested in sex than women 

The long-held belief that sex is more front of mind for men than women might feel like it’s been proliferating since the dawn of time, but prior to the 1700s, women’s pleasure was actually front and centre. 

“We actually believed across a lot of places in the West that women were the sexually deviant gender, and men were the people keeping the women in control of their libido,” said Dr Esme. 

“We seriously believed that women were so susceptible to any kind of sexual desire that we had to be really careful to not like trigger women in public.” 

Historically, it was believed that both partners had to orgasm in order to conceive a child; once science proved this to be factually inaccurate, so began the erasure of conversations around female pleasure and desire. 

Of course, while science might have let us down 300 years ago, the pendulum has finally swung back in our favour; we now know this to be oh-so-far from the truth, with women around Australia speaking out daily about the intricacies of female desire. 

#2. Masturbation is something to be ashamed of

Masturbation used to be so common that it barely gets a mention (or even a name!) in historical texts. So how did it become such a controversial topic? 

Enter one very controversial physician in 1712, who blamed all and any of life’s problems on self-pleasure - including blindness, epilepsy, hysteria, cancer, hair loss and even early death.

Dr Esme also points to the power of politics when it comes to this particular taboo; birth rates were on the decline in the 18th century and by marking masturbation out as sinful, it was hoped that more people would have sex, and thus have children. 

Thankfully, in 2024, we know that self-pleasure is perfectly normal and healthy.

Thankfully, in 2024, we know that self-pleasure is perfectly normal and healthy. Photography: Corrie Bond for Body+Soul

#3. There is no space for tech in sex 

We’re in the age of AI and that doesn’t stop when it comes to sex - and that might be to our benefit.

“In some ways, it's quite hopeful and in other ways, it's quite scary,” says Dr Esme.

She points to AI chatbots as a perfect example of the double-edged sword that tech can play in facilitating sex and sexual encounters.

“That in itself, there's nothing wrong with that. You know, that can be a very healthy output for sexuality,” she says. 

“Where this can obviously go wrong is that there's now no human intervention at times… we've got to be really, really cautious because… they can very quickly become obsessive and change our ability to actually have empathy.”

Originally published as A sex historian reveals the 3 biggest bedroom taboos in 2024