The one project Sonia Kruger doesn’t want to host

The TV host gets candid about the one role she dreads, ahead of the fanfare of the festive season.

It would seem the silly season has started early.

Maybe the events of the past few years have had a deeper effect on us than we realise, because it’s only the middle of November and already we’ve come bolting out of the gates faster than a three-year-old filly on Melbourne Cup day.

Me, I feel like one of those horses who gets to the front early – only to run out of steam before the race ends. And we all know the social season is the longest race of the year. Not good news if you’re a sprinter like me.

The back end of our year usually involves work parties, school events, Christmas drinks and then the big one: catching up with family for the Christmas holidays.

Sure, it all sounds good in theory. But so did The Hindenburg – and look at how that turned out.

Most people tend to take their annual break in December and January, and so the planning has begun. Do we go to where the family is to see everyone for the holidays, or do they come to us?

Even though I’m semi-capable of pulling together a seasonal soirée, frankly I’d rather have root-canal therapy than be the designated host.

Sonia Kruger can’t think of anything worse than hosting a seasonal soirée. Picture: Steven Chee for Stellar.

For a start, you’ll be completely bamboozled by what to serve because you have to cater to everybody’s highly evolved dietary requirements. Gluten free, lactose free, nitrate free… honestly, how the hell did cavemen and women survive without an oat milk latte and a protein bar to snack on?

On top of that, if you’re hosting family for the festive season the house is always a disaster because nobody knows where anything goes. So it all ends up living on the kitchen bench, just as all of the clothing lives on the floordrobe.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my family, but my OCD just doesn’t allow for me to be around them for extended periods of time.

This is why I’ve become a fan of Christmas ghosting (which is not to be confused with Dickens’ Ghost of Christmas Past from A Christmas Carol).

In the words of Paul Simon: You just slip out the back, Jack, make a new plan, Stan.

You don’t need to be coy, Roy, just get yourself free.

Forget obligation and expectation, I suggest wagging the whole festive fiasco and having some fun instead.

Step away from the kitchen or barbecue, and treat yourself to a real break. That’s why the only thing I’m making for Christmas this year is... a reservation.

Spnia Kruger’s latest column appears in this Sunday’s Stellar. Picture: John Russo.

Sonia Kruger hosts The Voice and Big Brother on the Seven Network.

Originally published as The one project Sonia Kruger doesn’t want to host