Jesinta Franklin: ‘Kids have tested our marriage’

Jesinta Franklin has opened up on ‘how hard’ having two children in quick succession has been on her relationship with AFL star Buddy Franklin, confessing it’s “definitely not perfect”.

When Jesinta Franklin turned 30 in August, she would have been quite within her rights to reflect on her precocious success. At 19, she was crowned Miss Universe Australia.

By 20 she had purchased her first investment property. When she was 25, she married AFL star Lance “Buddy” Franklin and became the face of David Jones. And as she rounded out her 20s, she had two babies 13 months apart.

There is no doubt Franklin has been busy – particularly since the arrival of Tullulah, who will be two in February, and Rocky, almost nine months.

But as she prepares to sell that first investment property a decade on, it’s not her style to self-congratulate. Because Franklin was brought up to look outwards and to notice what is happening for others.

“They were always so strong in their messaging that we should never shy away from speaking the truth or talking about things, even when it feels uncomfortable.” (Picture: Damian Bennett)

“My mum and dad taught my sister Aleysha and me to speak up about things we felt really passionate about, particularly when injustice was involved,” she tells Stellar.

“They were always so strong in their messaging that we should never shy away from speaking the truth or talking about things, even when it feels uncomfortable.”

To that end, she was recently embroiled in a social-media pile-on after she questioned whether Perth girl Cleo Smith would have been found if she were an Indigenous child.

While Franklin, like the rest of the country, was overjoyed when the missing four-year-old was discovered alive, she drew attention on Instagram to the disparity between white and Indigenous missing children when it comes to visibility and coverage of their cases.

“I have read so many heartbreaking stories of missing Indigenous children that garner hardly any media coverage or the social-media coverage that a case like Cleo’s did,” she wrote in the post, which she later deleted due to the racial abuse directed at her Indigenous husband.

“My integrity and authenticity are more important to me than people saying I look amazing on the red carpet.” (Picture: Damian Bennett)

“It’s definitely not perfect, but we try to focus on being a team and facing the challenges together.” (Picture: Damian Bennett)

As she talks with Stellar a few weeks later, Franklin says she has no regrets about speaking up – or following up that original post with further thoughts about the lack of media attention given to children of colour.

“Whenever you see a missing child in the news, as a mum or as a parent it affects you in a way that wouldn’t have affected you prior to having children,” Franklin says.

“I followed the case so closely; I was really invested in it. And the whole time I was thinking, just imagine if you had to beg police to try to find them, or you had to fight to get the word out or you weren’t taken seriously. I just felt really compelled to say something when she was found.”

Franklin says she received criticism from trolls but also several messages of support. And while she regretted that her original post didn’t refer to children from other ethnic backgrounds, she maintains that she hopes her comments have kickstarted an important discussion.

Indeed, since having children with her husband – a Noongar-Whadjuk man – she has grown even more passionate about social issues. “I want my children to do the same,” Franklin explains.

“A lot of people don’t talk about how hard it is on your marriage having children,” (Picture: Damian Bennett)

“I want them to be the children in the playground who stick up for the person who’s being bullied, even if it means that they might be bullied, too. That’s what I did as a kid. I vividly remember moments where I was a bit of a loner because I wanted to do the right thing and I didn’t like people being treated poorly.”

She took a similarly independent view to her career when she opted to step away from some long-term ambassadorships, and says she will always chart her own path.

“I’m never going to let the fear of what someone might think of me stop me from talking about it. What matters is doing the right thing, being kind and having an impact in my community or [on] the people around me. My integrity and authenticity are more important to me than people saying I look amazing on the red carpet.”

So as she and her husband look ahead to attending the Crown IMG Tennis Party next month in their role as ambassadors for the hotel, Franklin says she remains discerning about the brands with which she chooses to partner.

Companies have to align with her values – she’s a huge supporter of Crown’s Indigenous employment program – but she also has to see a purpose if it may take her away from her family for a spell.

As she says: “I really have to love it in order to give up that time with my kids.”

Reflecting on a year that has been bittersweet, Franklin says the safe arrival of Rocky and time together as a family have been her highlights.

Jesinta Franklin with her husband Lance “Buddy” Franklin on their wedding. (Picture: Supplied)

Jesinta Franklin with baby Rocky in June. (Picture: Supplied)

Conversely, she has missed her parents in Queensland and endured a fortnight in quarantine so she and the children could join Buddy in the AFL bubble. Both, she says, were challenging.

Having two children in quick succession was also testing at times. “A lot of people don’t talk about how hard it is on your marriage having children,” she confesses.

“We could definitely do it better. We really haven’t had much time just us two without the kids, but we’re a very tight-knit family. It’s definitely not perfect, but we try to focus on being a team and facing the challenges together.”

Franklin says she struggled during the six weeks of the footy season when she and Buddy were separated, and reveals she wouldn’t have coped without the help of a valued friend.

“Bud is so hands-on and supportive, and I really missed that when he was gone. I’m really lucky to have a partner who is such an amazing father.”

While the couple would have liked to have introduced Rocky to Buddy’s family in Western Australia, border restrictions mean they’ll instead spend Christmas in Queensland with Jesinta’s family.

Jesinta Franklin stars on this Sunday’s Stellar

As for celebrating her 30th, that’s been postponed until next year – though she’s looking forward to choosing an Aboriginal artwork as a gift from her husband.

Reflecting on the milestone, Franklin says she is grateful to have a career that fits around motherhood. She’s also enjoying the confidence that comes with growing older.

“When you’re younger it’s easy to dim your lights sometimes, and play a little bit small and worry about what people think,” she says.

“If there’s anything I’ve learnt in the past 10 years, it’s to trust your intuition and back yourself. I’m enjoying being more deliberate. If there’s anything more I could promise myself going into my 30s, it’s to be more deliberate.”

Originally published as Jesinta Franklin: ‘Kids have tested our marriage’