‘Shouting and dinner roll throwing’: Why my dinner party descended into chaos

It started so well, but then Frances Whiting made a decision that threw her dinner party into chaos.

Things started well at the dinner party.

We held a dinner party last week which, I am very sorry to say, started off in a very civilised manner but, shortly after dessert, descended into what can only be described as a melee. There were wild accusations flung about, finger pointing and one woman shouted at her husband “what the f**k is wrong with you?”

Look, I’m not proud of myself, and I apologised to him immediately. Also to the children at the table. And to their parents. Actually, the parents could hardly talk, one man threw his dinner roll across the room.

The thing is, I do not normally swear – well I do, but not in company, and usually just to myself, silently, at work, over and over again – but on this occasion, I was driven to it, pushed to my absolute limit.

What does Mariah Carey want for Christmas?

Because, I’m sorry if you do not know what Mariah Carey wants for Christmas – indeed all she wants for Christmas – then perhaps there really is something very wrong with you. Especially if your answer is, “Oh I don’t know, some sort of perfume? A yacht?”

Now, as you may have guessed, the reason the dinner party descended into chaos and at least one couple left considering a trial separation, was because we played a board game. Oh yes, you’re in for a wild time if you come to our place for dinner, let me tell you.

Anyway, in this game, called Catchphrase, one person has to describe a word or a phrase to their teammate, without using the word or phrase, or miming it, or using words that rhyme with it, and the other person has to guess it in the shortest time possible. Again, we are total party animals at our house.

In this case the phrase was “All I want for Christmas is ….” and clearly the missing word was “you” as per Mariah Carey’s monster yuletide hit. Which everyone in the entire world has heard, except, apparently, my husband. Which he would like me to point out publicly in this column, makes him “very, very cool”. Which I am doing because I’m still in the doghouse for swearing at him.

The thing is, apart from all the shouting and the dinner roll throwing, I believe there is nothing like a board game to bring people together, even as it tears them apart.

Monopoly, ruining family holidays since 1935.

On that note, I particularly recommend Monopoly, ruining family holidays since 1935. This is because it doesn’t matter who is fighting over who gets to drive the cool race car around the board, and who gets to iron their way around it, there are some universal annoyances around Monopoly which are the same from Brissie to Bathurst.

For example, there will always be one person who will hide how much money they actually have, and will pull out a $500 note just when you think they are about to go bankrupt, and there will be another player who seems to catch every lucky break, snapping up Mayfair and Park Lane, while you’re going to jail, going directly to jail, and not collecting $200.

Anyway if you like a board game, give Catchphrase a whirl, and in the meantime I’d love to hear your own stories of players behaving badly.

Originally published as ‘Shouting and dinner roll throwing’: Why my dinner party descended into chaos