'I don't want my husband's gift - but he says I'm ruining Christmas'

“He is making me feel guilty and I didn’t even ask for this!"

A woman has taken to Reddit asking if she’s ruined Christmas by telling her husband she no longer wants his gift.

After yearning after a particular item for years, the woman wrote that her husband finally told her he’d be getting it for her for Christmas.

But, he’s begun talking about it excessively, making her feel guilty for wanting the expensive item. So, she said she’s no longer interested.

The two are now divided, but who is in the wrong?

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“He’s treating me like a child”

“For the past few years I’ve wanted a very specific item. It’s about $500.00. I don’t like spending that much money on myself and this isn’t necessary to the household so I never bought it. It would just be something to display, like an art piece,” she said in the post.

“This year my husband announced he was getting it for me for Christmas. Which… I was slightly down about because it ruined the surprise but I was fine with it. But he keeps talking about it, and in the past month has made a lot of annoyed comments.

“'I could buy a new TV for this price', 'I could buy so and so for how much this is', 'You’re only getting this so don’t expect anything else'. And finally today I sent him something funny that I thought was cute and he responded saying 'well you’re only getting this for Christmas so don’t show me anything else or I just won’t get it'.”

The poster said this has been causing her some serious grief.

“I feel like he’s treating me like a child. I’m not making him purchase me anything, I’m not asking him to get me this or anything else for that matter. I’ve said a few times that he doesn’t need to get me anything for holidays, just a nice dinner or a homemade gift from one of our children would be preferred,” she said.

“He is making me feel guilty and I didn’t even ask for this! He knows I wanted it because I joke around about it or have made comments but I never told him to get it for me.”

After the most recent remark, the woman said she had to put a stop to it.

“I sat him down and asked him to please not purchase it anymore, that I no longer wanted it. He kept pressing asking me why and I just said I changed my mind, he was right we could spend money on something else for everybody,” she said.

“It turned into a spat and he finally got it out of me that he ruined it. I explained that he complained so much about it, if I ever opened this as a gift from him I would just think about how much he did not want to get it for me, and every time I saw it on the wall I’d think of how he was so annoyed that he had to buy it, so I’d rather he just not.

“He got super upset and said I ruined Christmas so now I feel awful.”

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“He ruined Christmas”

Commenters on the post were in agreement that it was her husband who ‘ruined’ Christmas - not her.

“He ruined Christmas and I wouldn’t be surprised if he was complaining either to get you to change your mind and not want the gift anymore or feel like you owe him for getting it for you,” one commenter said.

“He found a way to get out of giving you the one thing you really wanted for a while now. In the process, he hurt you. He wasn't clever in his attempt to get you to never mention the item again, he was cruel. He was doubly cruel by trying to make you the bad guy in this scenario,” said another.

“Ask your husband why he felt the need to ruin something for you because honestly he did this and ask if he had been treated the way he was treating you would he be OK with it? Personally, you deserve better and nobody who loves you would treat you this way but here we are,” another said.

“New rule - presents for kids only”

Some suggested ways to make Christmas a little easier on the couple this year, following the blowout.

“Since conversations haven’t gone well, I’d consider texting him, “I want to clear the air so Christmas is more pleasant, 1) If a gift would bother you, I don’t want it, 2) if suggestions of what I’d like is too much pressure I won’t make them or if the issue is price, I won’t ask for anything over $50, or 3) if the expense of getting gifts is stressful, we can agree to just get the kids gifts. You can return what you bought me and I’ll do the same. Let me know what sounds good to you. I want Christmas to be relaxed and happy, seeing the kids with their gifts, the food and visits are fine with me.”,” one commenter said.

“I suggest stating that Christmas is for the children. The adults do not need to get gifts for each other. New rule-presents for the kids only,” another suggested.

Originally published as 'I don't want my husband's gift - but he says I'm ruining Christmas'