Seven-word death note sums up Australia’s shame

Multiple dead bodies, a seven word note, a rushed meeting of religious leaders. How our country’s shame was exposed in Australia’s week from hell.

OPINION

“Won’t get justice, will die with her.”

This was the chilling note found last week after the body of Lesley Stillman, 67, was discovered in Carramar, 30km from Perth’s CBD. She and her ex-husband Mark Stillman, 64, were found dead in a suspected murder-suicide.

It seems Australian men have taken their misogyny to new heights, extending their abuse to giving us the finger beyond the grave.

Even before a murder takes place, the narrative of hating women starts somewhere. It breeds in a society of toxic masculinity and failed legal systems and, unfortunately, Australia is guilty of it.

Why are some in denial about what’s happening?

It’s only April and already 24 women have been murdered according to Counting Dead Women (Australia), 10 more than this time last year. Sherele Moody who started the Australian Femicide map, documenting all unlawful deaths of women and children, has counted 29 women.

The bodies of Mark and Lesley Stillman were found inside their home on April 14 and a not was discovered that read: “Won’t get justice, will die with her”.

When are men going to stop killing us? I often get people messaging me ‘examples’ of women abusing men. Yet, ABS statistics show that it’s mostly men that are the perpetrators of domestic violence.

Attorney-General Mark Dreyfus recently addressed a family violence symposium, demanding men “step up” to prevent the crisis in male violence. Yes, men can do more. They can stop making sexist remarks, or cracking rude jokes. And if they’re not guilty of any of that but their mates are, they can call them out on it. On the whole they can be respectful towards women, and listen to what the women around them have to say.

The amount of times I’ve been treated like an object in the dating world just blows my mind. If you’re a man and a woman tells you that your mate is being violent towards his partner, believe her. Share your feelings with your mates. Encourage vulnerable masculinity rather than macho toxic masculinity, which is the perfect breeding ground for violent behaviour. If you’re struggling with any of this, seek therapy.

But perhaps Attorney-General Mark Dreyfus needs to “step up”. As does Prime Minister Anthony Albanese. Our legal systems are not protecting women, they are silencing them.

When a woman is murdered we should get the same reaction from our government as when Bishop Mar Mari Emmanuel was stabbed in an alleged terrorist attack. A meeting of religious leaders was organised to tackle the issue – where’s our meeting? Let’s not forget also the role religion has to play in silencing of women.

Bishop Mar Mari Emmanuel was stabbed in a church in Wakeley, Sydney.

Mass stabbing perpetrator 40-year-old Joel Cauchi in Bondi Junction Westfield. Picture: Twitter

Joel Cauchi’s Bondi Junction Westfield stabbing spree resulted in mostly women being murdered. Cauchi was homeless, had severe mental health issues, and police believe he was a meth user, just like James Garhasoulas who drove his car into Bourke Street Mall killing six people in January 2017. It doesn’t excuse their behaviour, but National Institute of Drug Abuse stipulates meth is highly addictive which can cause violent behaviour. The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW) early insights report cites Australia’s drug and alcohol rehabilitation system is unable to respond to community demand. With adequate funding, including mental health services, we minimise the risk of violence and help protect women.

The status quo in Australia is women are scared. The note by Lesley Stillman’s ex points at a deeply entrenched misogyny, extending all the way from the grave to Parliament House. Less deflecting and more action is needed.

Koraly Dimitriadis is an opinion writer, poet and performer and the author of Love and Fck Poems, Just Give Me The Pills and She’s Not Normal @koralyd

Originally published as Seven-word death note sums up Australia’s shame