Selina Jenkins: Double mastectomy sparked Adelaide Cabaret Festival show called ‘Boobs’

Performer Selina Jenkins didn’t have breast cancer, nor was it in her family. She wasn’t transitioning to become a man. But she still flew to America for a double mastectomy.

It’s an unconventional opening question for an interview with a women I’ve never met before but, considering the subject matter, somehow seems appropriate.

“Tell me about your breasts,” I offer, hoping that the false bravado in my tone hides my internal trepidation.

I needn’t have worried. Selina Jenkins saw it coming a mile away and barely bats an eyelid. She’s answered that question before. Many times. In fact, the Melbourne based performer has created an entire cabaret show about that subject matter. The show is called, quite simply, Boobs.

“Well, the first thing to say is … they are no longer … how they used to be,” Jenkins replies.

Her show, you see, is an autobiographical story about the decision she made to have both of her breasts completely removed with a double mastectomy in 2012. She did not have cancer. She was not transitioning from female to male. She just didn’t want her boobs anymore.

Jenkins identifies as a queer, cisgender woman. Cisgender, by the way, is the adjective which describes a person whose sense of personal identity and gender corresponds with their birth sex.

Her disdain for her breasts started pretty much as soon as they turned up when puberty hit in her early teens.

As the years progressed, that feeling of discomfort grew.

Selina Jenkins, in Adelaide for her show Boobs as part of the Adelaide Cabaret Festival. Picture: Alison Fairley

“It just grew to a point where I thought ‘I’m really unhappy – really, really uncomfortable and unhappy with that part of my body’,” she says. “It took years and years for me to even discover that there was anything that I could do about that – that I could have a procedure done that would make me more comfortable.”

The multi-award-winning artist, musician and comedian explores the journey towards that procedure, and the aftermath, in her show Boobs, part of this month’s Adelaide Cabaret Festival. The show was named as one of the top five stage shows in Melbourne in 2019 and won four gongs – for writing, original songs, best artiste and production – in the cabaret category of Melbourne’s 2020 Green Room awards.

The show explains in detail the rationale behind her double mastectomy, and Jenkins says she struggles to explain exactly why her breasts made her feel uncomfortable.

“I think the bottom line was that there was no benefit to my boobs,” she says. “Physically, with sport and physical activities, they were uncomfortable and a lot of the time they got in the way. I (also) never personally felt any benefit sexually. So for me, they weren’t a part of my body that contributed in a positive way sexually.

“And I suppose that’s really what it was – they just were simply a part of my body that just felt like I wasn’t receiving any benefit from them. There was no positive with them being a part of me.”

So by the time she hit 30, Jenkins started seriously thinking about how she could find peace with that part of her body and researching how she could get them removed. During her internet searches on the subject, the word transgender started popping up, but that wasn’t the journey she was on.

She was unable to find a surgeon in Australia willing to perform a double mastectomy unless it was for medical reasons or part of the process of transitioning into a man. She hopes the situation would be different for anyone else in the same situation today, nearly a decade down the track, but she’s not sure.

“Back in 2012, I was informed that, well, you’re the first case that’s really popped up where you’re a cisgender woman but you want to remain female identified after this surgery,” she says. “So that just meant that the criteria that was in place for people to have that surgery at that time … meant that I didn’t really tick those boxes.”

Selina Jenkins. Picture: Alison Fairley

So, with the support of her family and friends, she was forced to fly to Florida in 2012 for an operation which removed all of her breast tissue, but kept her nipples.

She was terrified at the thought of undergoing such an operation away from home, but it was her only option.

“There are inherent risks associated with any kind of surgery and any kind of general anaesthetic or procedure,” she says. “So, if anything were to go wrong, or complications were to arise, I couldn’t just ring my Mum and ask her to come in.”

But the surgery was a success and, after surviving a category three hurricane during her recovery, Jenkins returned to Australia. “There hasn’t been a single regret,” she says. “It was a big decision, but probably one of the best that I’ve made, I think, for my life.”

But for many years she never really felt comfortable talking about what she had done and only close friends and family few knew about the operation. That all changed when Boobs debuted in Melbourne in 2019 and the revelation of her experience shocked many long-time friends and extended family members.

“It felt like coming out all over again,” she says. “But since doing that, it just feels wonderful to tell that story.

“The show is a joy, even though it’s very, very vulnerable and it’s very, very honest. But it doesn’t trigger any negative feelings – it just feels like a real celebration of a really great decision.”

She braced herself for a wave of negative feedback but has been pleasantly surprised that not one person has walked out of the theatre after watching Boobs and been critical of either her decision or the show itself.

“I think the themes and the core of what I talk about through my experience of this particular journey are things that are really universally relatable,” she says.

“It takes a really personal thing, a very specific thing, a very specific story and makes it relatable. Because really what I’m talking about is the expectations that are on every single person who walks this earth about how we’re meant to be – how do we express the gender that we are.

Selina Jenkins soon after her operation.

“Men experience that, women experience that, non-binary people experience it – it’s this idea that there are these expectations that people have about what it is to be a woman and what it is to be a bloke.

“And it looks at body autonomy, and if there’s something that you want to change about your body, or your name, or your gender identity, and it’s not harming anyone else, then why are there barriers to you doing that.”

Jenkins is careful, she says, to avoid comparing herself or her situation with women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer and hence been forced to undergo a mastectomy.

“That is a devastating thing that happens in their live and I acknowledge that completely,” she says. “And there’s not a part of me that ever tries to diminish that or play that down.

“This is not me flippantly saying, ‘oh boobs, you know, boobs are rubbish and everyone should get rid of them’. This is just the reason this story had to be so personal. And it’s the reason it had to delve pretty deep into why I came to this decision because it is just a very personal, individual person’s story. The themes are bigger, and the topics are bigger, absolutely, and it gets people thinking but there’s just not a part of me that does not try very hard to remain sensitive to people who have potentially similar procedures but very different experiences.”

It’s a serious subject but Jenkins, a singer-songwriter who has also performed comedy for more than 15 years, says it’s a story impossible to tell without a liberal dose of humour.

“Even though you might think it sounds a bit serious, there’s a lot of laughter,” she says. “One thing that people are surprised at is how funny it is. People have come away from the show and gone, that’s a cracker … that was really funny and I hadn’t expected so many laughs.

“And I’ve always done storytelling on stage, and there’s many moments in the show where I can see people creep forward on their seats and hold their breath.

“It’s just one of those shows that fits really well together.”

Boobs is at the Adelaide Cabaret Festival in the Quartet Bar, Festival Theatre foyer, 6pm June 18-June 20.
Tickets adelaidecabaretfestival.com.au