‘I have finally found my people’: Frances Whiting on the Dull Women’s Club

At last I have found my tribe. It has taken me a long time to do this, and comes after trying all manner of things in the hopes of meeting my own kind.

Frances Whiting. Picture: David Kelly

As Etta James would sing, at last. At last I have found my tribe. It has taken me a long time to do this, and comes after trying all manner of things in the hopes of meeting my own kind.

Let’s see, I once went to a salsa dance class where you brought your own salsa to share afterwards, and I have also tried circus school, although I remain unsure why. We had to climb up a long length of material called a “tissue”, and while the rest of the class scurried up it like Alex Honnold in Free Solo, I hauled myself approximately six inches off the ground, fell off and dislocated my shoulder.

I have also tried joining a running club, book club, dinner club, movie club and, for a short period, actually ran a spectacularly unsuccessful knitting club, where I was the only person at the end of its brief existence not to have knitted anything.

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So yes, I have struggled to find my groove, and then, the other day, it happened. I was scrolling through Facebook, watching educational videos of cats attacking their owners, when a post caught my eye. Or specifically, the title of the post. The Dull Women’s Club.

Wait, I thought. I’m a woman and I’m dull, could I have finally found my people?

And reading on, I realised I had. Post after post from women all over the world who like sitting in comfortable chairs, eating bread and listening to podcasts about the Tudors.

Well hello, I thought, where have you been all my life?

Woman reading book while relaxing on deck chair at back yardESCAPEAUGUST 30 2020NEWS & VIEWS OPINION

I’ll give you a precis of one woman’s post, accompanied by a lovely photo of her: “Hello, thanks for letting me join. I’m Emma and I like eating salt and vinegar chips. I’m happiest in my garden, and like taking my size four feet on familiar walks. I spend a lot of time everyday being sat on by my cats. This picture was taken just after I had a nap at my own wedding.”

Emma is my spirit animal.

Anyway, to join, you have to send in a bit about yourself and your photo to see if you are suitably dull enough. This is what I have so far …

“Hello, my name is Frances, I am a journalist and author. This sounds quite a bit more exciting than what it is. I am married to a man called John, we have two children, a boy and a girl, and a dog called Wilson who once ate part of a chair.

“I enjoy wearing pyjamas, saying yes to social invitations and then immediately regretting it, drinking tea, reading books and rewatching television sitcoms from the Eighties. I also enjoy going out to dinner with my husband and not talking. Sometimes I get a vanilla milkshake and drink it in my car.

Frances Whiting. Picture: David Kelly

“One of the nicest things, I think, about me, is I enjoy looking at other people’s far more glamorous lives on social media. I really do. It doesn’t bother me a bit.

“Instead I like to look at their pictures and think ‘Oh thank God I wasn’t there, that looks exhausting’. ‘Oh I wonder how long it took her to get ready, poor thing.’

“I was once a contestant on Sale of the Century, but didn’t win anything.”

What do you think?

Originally published as ‘I have finally found my people’: Frances Whiting on the Dull Women’s Club