Woman’s database for bad ex-boyfriends leaves internet divided
A database that allows women to share their bad experiences with men they’ve dated has sparked fierce debate online over whether it’s appropriate.
Dating
Don't miss out on the headlines from Dating. Followed categories will be added to My News.
A database that allows women to share their bad experiences with men they’ve dated has made headlines, dubbed the “TripAdvisor for exes”.
Created by US-based blog editor Tracy Teagan, the “Ex-boyfriend List” encourages women to post stories about men they’ve been involved with who may have cheated, treated them with disrespect, or just acted like a “jerk”.
“All you need to know about us is that we are out here for girls who have gone through the worst at the hands of a man who didn’t appreciate them enough,” the website’s description reads.
“This database is for you because through this process that we have built, you can reveal the truth about him and save lives.”
Want to stream your news? Flash lets you stream 25+ news channels in 1 place. New to Flash? Try 1 month free. Offer ends 31 October, 2022 >
According to the Daily Mail, Teagan started the forum “when a family member was going through a divorce”.
“I’ve also experienced my own bad break-up, and I was left heartbroken. I just wanted a place to share my story,” she said.
“It was a really ugly end to our relationship. I had been cheated on. It was the most traumatising experience of my life because I had been lied to this entire time.”
She added that “being that traumatised, I just needed a place to express myself and tell others who understood me”.
“I started the ex-boyfriend list back in 2008, and it really took off – so many girls had similar stories that they were keen to share,” she said.
“Other women would add their stories one by one, and the next thing they knew, their truth was out there.”
Readers of the list can comment on submissions to verify women’s claims, while the site also has a search function where users can look up the name of their partner.
“Search him up, and if there’s nothing, then you’re one of the lucky ones,” Teagan said.
“But if you do end up finding anything related to him, you know your doubts were correct.”
Strict instructions, however, state that while submissions should include their ex’s name, city, and the state he lives in, personal information – including the man’s private phone number, address, workplace, and any details about his family – cannot be shared.
While the site has drummed up hundreds of entries, some have questioned whether it’s the “cathartic” solution it’s cracked up to be.
“This is absolutely abhorrent as it’s totally subjective and can do untold damage to a person based on just an opinion! This should be stopped immediately!” one person wrote on Facebook.
“I’m mixed on this – it might help other people see through their BS and save them from terrible heartache,” another wrote.
“There are serial users (both male and female) who consistently don’t tell the truth and just want to use someone to make them feel better – for their own self reasons.”
A third said: “It’s not cool. There’s three sides to every story. Hers, his and the truth.”
While “it’s good to get your anger out by posting on the site”, Teagan herself acknowledged she has “had some men contact me claiming that some statements on the site were not true”.
“It’s hard to prove either way, but I wanted to create a space where women can share their stories,” she said, adding that her work has “saved women from bad situations”.
More Coverage
Originally published as Woman’s database for bad ex-boyfriends leaves internet divided