Divorce in Australia is skyrocketing: See who is affected and how couples can get help

Relationship trouble is soaring in Australia with more couples either separating or divorcing. See the map to find out where it’s hitting hardest and see experts’ latest advice for couples.

A bride and groom separated on their wedding cake after they decide to get a divorce. Picture: iStock.

Australian relationships are on the rocks, with the divorce rate up 16 per cent in the past year, and increasing portions of the population either separated or divorced.

And as we head into the holiday period, experts say the figures are likely to rise.

The Australian Bureau of Statistics last year recorded an average of 2.2 divorces per 1000 people, up from 1.9 in 2019 and 2020 – with Queenslanders particularly keen to go their separate ways, averaging 2.6 divorces per 1000 people last year.

They were followed by couples in Western Australia at 2.2, New South Wales and South Australia at 2.1, Tasmania at 2, Victoria at 1.9 and the Northern Territory at 1.8.

Relationships Australia Victoria general manager for clinical services Amanda Goldstein said the stress of major floods and Covid-induced job losses, lockdowns and separation from family support networks likely played a part in increasing divorce rates.

“People tended to have more expectations on their partner during these times where they’re wanting their partner to provide everything that they normally would have had from a job or from their extended family social support and friends and their partners really weren’t able to provide everything for them, so it’s been really tough time for people,” Ms Goldstein said.

Victoria’s divorce rate was lower than most other states, despite its residents copping the brunt of Covid restrictions.

Ms Goldstein said this may be partly because lockdowns made the logistics of separation and moving home more difficult.

“But sometimes that can also be a positive if the conflict is not at a really high level,” she said.

“It might have forced people to take more time to try and work things out and look at each other and look at the positive sides of staying together for the children.”

Amanda Goldstein said lockdowns forced some people to work through their issues. Picture: Supplied

However, divorces may still rise in Victoria – and nationally – in the coming years as people who separated during the pandemic finalise their divorces.

In 2021, ABS figures showed marriages that ended in divorce lasted a median of 8.4 years to separation and 12.2 years to divorce.

About a third of marriages end in divorce, according to the ABS.

Analysis of Census data showed divorced and separated people made up more than a fifth of the population in some local government areas last year, including the small South Australian community of Peterborough.

Divorce and life coach Renae Tate sees first-hand the effects a marriage breakdown has on people and the difficulty of navigating life afterwards.

Having gone through her own divorce, Ms Tate has programs to support men and women after their break-up.

“Some people get really stuck in those phases of the grieving cycle and I think unless you do the work on yourself to be able to move on, it can really take a long time to be able to get through that,” Ms Tate said.

Renae Tate said Covid forced people to really look at their relationships as there were fewer distractions available.

“The divorce hits you on a lot of levels all at once, not only emotionally, but also mentally having to deal with the day to day challenges of living and dealing with things on your own.

“There’s a lot of financial pressures that people go through and physically you don’t have that partner in your life or you’re having to move houses and relocate your children.”

Ms Tate said it was also important to recognise that men needed help after a divorce as much as women, who make up most of her clients.

“Men go through things just the same way and there’s a lot of men that really struggle after going through that,” she said.

With divorce rates expected to continue rising, Ms Tate said the recent spike doesn’t come as a complete shock.

“I think Covid put the spotlight on those areas that couples weren’t happy with within their relationship,” she said.

“People couldn’t be out distracting themselves with other things.

“Usually you spend years being busy doing other things but not really looking at your relationship and now it put a lot of different pressure on people,” she said.

NFL star Tom Brady and supermodel Gisele Bundchen’s divorce made headlines across the world this year. Picture: Getty

Ms Tate said while divorce may be the only option for couples, she advises people to try and “make the relationship work” before turning to the final option of separation.

“Once you do divorce, it’s really important to get the help and the right support because a lot of people never fully recover or they waste many years recovering.”

If you need help with relationship breakdown or domestic violence, contact:

Mensline 1300 78 99 78

Men’s Referral Service 1300 766 491

Lifeline 13 11 14

Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467

Family Relationship Advice Line 1800 050 321

Relationships Australia 1300 364 277

Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800

Originally published as Divorce in Australia is skyrocketing: See who is affected and how couples can get help