The one thing guaranteed to give men the ick

Have you done this?

An online creator has shared the one thing that gives every man the ick on a first date – but it's not as straightforward as it seems. 

Out of all the trends that have graced social media over the past year, ‘icks’ is one of the biggest. 

An ick refers to an action someone does, usually someone you’re with in a sexual or romantic capacity, that renders you immediately unattracted to them. 

It could be the way they sneeze, how they behave with waitstaff, or the name they use for their grandmother. They’re usually totally random acts that most people wouldn’t think of, but for some reason, they take your attraction down to a hard zero. 

The worst part? Once you’ve got the ick, it’s usually irreversible. 

Much of the dialogue thus far has come from heterosexual women online – who have made it their mission to share things men they’ve dated have done that inexplicably ick them out. 

A common ick is the face many men make before they go in to kiss you, which some women call the “fish face”. Others include pushing a pull door, running after a ping pong ball, and running with a backpack on. Quite harsh, all undoubtedly correct. 

But amidst all the ick-centric dialogue online, we rarely hear what icks men out about women. Now, one creator is determined to set the record straight, and has revealed the one thing women do that will give men the ick every single time: a kiss, but not the kind you’d expect.

Apparently, a quick peck gives men the ick. Image: iStock

@rtpdatingmethod is an account run by a man called Quentin, who shares tips and tricks for “women in their 30s and beyond to meet and date high quality men with the dating apps”. 

Most of his content is advice for women on how to date the right way, without wasting their time, and understanding signs that indicate whether a man is into them, or not. Some of his videos include instructions for what women should do if a man is texting them less, reasons men don’t approach women, and ‘why you fail at dating’.

In one of his newest videos, however, Mr RTP takes a different approach, sharing one of the biggest “physical attraction turnoffs” for men when it comes to first dates. It’s so heinous, apparently, that Quentin says this one simple thing can ruin a promising relationship before it even gets the chance to take off. 

The act? A peck – as in a quick, light kiss on the lips, also known as the most inoffensive type of kiss there is. 

'You’ve gotta work on your kissing skills'. Image: iStock

'I talk to so many men about this - they are so turned off by a peck kiss,' he says. “You’ve gotta have some art with your kissing, it can’t just be a peck.”

“If a guy is trying to kind of get his tongue in there…trying to make out with you and you’re just pecking him, you’ve gotta work on your kissing skills,” he says. 

“I’ve had so many men talk to me about this, they absolutely hate that. I’ll be honest with you, so do I”. 

To his credit, Quentin does clarify that this only applies if the woman actually wants to kiss the guy, saying “'If you don't want him to kiss you lean away and get outta there.” A sentiment to which we could not agree more. 

However, if you do want to commit to a kiss, he says women need to “do it right”. 

We have some thoughts. Namely, to be permitted to kiss someone else at all on a date is a privilege, not a right. To assume that men deserve a proper kiss, rather than a brief one, is an assumption riddled with entitlement. so much so that I’m sure it would make many women not want to kiss the guy at all, even if she liked him. 

It’s also important to consider the fact that not everyone is comfortable having a tongue stuck in their mouth on the first date. A woman might like a guy from a first or second date, but not yet be sure if she’s into him enough to want to have a full-scale makeout. A quick peck on the lips, or even a few pecks on the lips, might be all they’re comfortable with. 

@rtpdatingmethod

This is a big turn off when you’re on a date. #datingadvice #women #kissing

♬ original sound - Quentin

Many of the commenters on Quentin’s video have echoed a similar sentiment, with one saying “'Kissing is a start, first date is not for making out. “You could either respect a woman before getting to know her to get the good stuff or hire someone to have the kiss you want.” 

“Once you get past 30, making out isn’t a thing,” said another. We do disagree with that particular delineation, but it is true that macking on as an adult may look a little different to the passionate streetside make-outs you may have experienced as a teen. 

For Quentin, or any man, to assume that to avoid icking a guy out women need to open their mouths and let them kiss them, is frankly not on. 

Let’s not forget that this sentiment is problematic for men too.  To widely assume that all men are expecting a proper make out the second a woman agrees to some sort of physical contact is not helpful, nor is it true. 

"You can still kiss someone, so he knows you're interested and not kiss him like your grandmother." Image: iStock

Some male commenters did agree with Quentin’s take, though they said it’s about finding the right balance. 

"You can still kiss someone, so he knows you're interested and not kiss him like your grandmother,” one wrote. 

“Love a good kisser - pecks are for family,” said another.

With that in mind, women and men have a choice to make. For women, give your date the kiss you’re comfortable with. If you do like him and feel so inclined, don’t shy away from a proper pash. But if you’d rather give him a kiss so light and so brief he can barely feel it, that’s fine too. 

For men, it would be wise to reexamine this particular ick, realise that you’re already winning the lottery for getting any kind of kiss at the end of a date, and approach the next one with optimism, rather than entitlement. 

Originally published as The one thing guaranteed to give men the ick