'You're not the victim': Nanna's 3 brutal rules for first-time grandparents

“You’re not this child’s parent. You’re privileged to be a grandmother." 

So, you’re going to be a Grandma?  

But hold your horses before you begin knitting the booties and dishing out the unsolicited "in my day" advice. 

There’s a few rules one woman wants you to know about, Nanna. 

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"You're not the mother"

Maria, aka Mommom, has taken to the internet to share words of wisdom to other first time grandparents.

There’s only three. Surely that’s doable!

Rule one: You are not the parent. 

She insists that this is perhaps the most crucial of the three.

“You’re not this child’s parent. You’re privileged to be a grandmother. You’re not the mother,” Maria insists. 

Rule Two: Respect the parent’s boundaries. 

“Guest what? You don’t have to understand them,” she said. 

She explains that it's normal to experience confusion over boundaries, such as not being able to kiss the baby's face. 

However, you need to respect it. 

The next one kind of goes hand-in-hand with rule two. 

Rule Three: You’re not the victim. 

It might sound harsh, but Maria’s advice is clear. 

“You’re not a pushover. You’re just being respectful of their role as a parent and realising your role as a grandmother,” she explained. 

Image: Instagram/mommom.maria

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"So many expectations" 

There was plenty of discussion in the comments of her video - many of which strongly disagreed. 

“Daughter in law should always remember that without the mother in law giving birth to their husband there would be no new baby,” one woman argued. 

“What about the other side? Why is it a privilege? I never asked them to have a child. Why are there so many expectations on me?” a second asked. 

One grandparent shared that it’s extremely hard to listen to the double standards. 

“This is so hard to do as a GP.  I want no sugar. They give lots of sugar . I want no screen time . Parents do lots of screen time . I want no cell phone scrolling. Parents scroll constantly in front of the baby. I’m trying so hard to not say anything,” they revealed. 

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However, there was overwhelming agreement with the guidelines Maria is insisting new grandparents follow.  

“Grandma of two-year-old triplets here. We raised our kids - let them raise theirs, and trust you did a good job raising your child to be a good parent.” one said. 

“Grandmother to a seven-month-old and two-week-old. Absolutely agree.” another agreed. 

A third praised Maria: “I believe you dropped your halo, because you’re an angel!” 

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Originally published as 'You're not the victim': Nanna's 3 brutal rules for first-time grandparents